Sharing the super sad stuff post trauma … is super scary … at first.
Then it’s part of the story that no longer defines you ~ and then … it’s a closed chapter in your life that no longer even exists.
When you wish them well, knowing they wish you evil ~ you know you’ve healed.
There, I just saved you years of therapy!
Therapy is awesome ~ I fully support it.
I’ll mention two online therapy outlets for everyone who wants to go there from the privacy of their safe space.
I talk about the things that half a century year old women have been told our entire lives.
Don’t talk about money
Don’t talk about what we believe in
Don’t talk about sex
Don’t talk about our age
Don’t talk about any bad thing that’s every happened to us ever
Don’t talk about past relationships
Don’t talk about our point of view …
Don’t talk about our job experiences, or we’ll be blacklisted
And my favorite one … when a man is doing dirty to our students or co-workers, for Gawd’s sakes … don’t talk about that!
So of COURSE ~ I’m talking about all of it.
IMO ~ we, the eldurkin women owe it to both our younger selves and our younger generations to share our experiences.
Not because of my job in the psychology business or education business but because of the life experience business.
I followed a few pages on social media that helped me over the years. @TinyBuddhaofficial is one of them.
I’m all about hoping everyone can heal ~ I also started this as a spin off of the work I do in my two fields.
Syncing takes some time.
Dissemination of both the holistic healing and the good life are going to live here.
In my writing house …
Happiness IS possible.
There are great researchers ~ books ~ media ~ genuine helpers out there and I hope to share those too.
I walked the walk ~ that’s what I’ll share the most.
This isn’t about a job ~ it’s about sharing with others who’ve maybe been through it too.
Women around the world are coming out into the streets to shout it out.
I almost started an MFA program in writing with a college up in Vermont. In talking with the admissions person, they said something to the effect or, “Oh, you’ll fit right in. Women at midlife are writing and writing loud.”
I didn’t go.
I did want to just dive in.
How to be happy in 3 easy steps (in case you want to cut to the punchline)
- Feel ALL the feels
- Work through the grief/darkness/experience
- Write out or Reimagine your new life the way you want to live it
Then … go do that.
It only takes as long as you are ready.
See you tomorrow.
I’m off to watch what real love is. Just kidding, I’m currently watching Bachelor in Paradise …there. My deep dark secret. I watch the Bachelor Nation conundrum. I’m baffled. I HOPE that’s not the case, but if it is … whatever floats your boat.
If you are not laughing ~ a lot ~ daily ~ finding joy, humor and love of all things playful ~ every single day … that darkness is going to consume you.
Get out there and laugh as much as possible. That’s the actual secret to a happy life. Change your brain with laughter. Whatever that looks like for you.
Do no harm, take no shit. Love your life. (That’s my bumper sticker armchair advice).
It’s good to be confused by things ~ it gives us something to think about.
(c) @happinessnoir @inkhoneypub @K.ArenHenryMiller
OH wait … I promised you two places to find online therapy that I IMO, are really good ones.
One of them involves one of my former students who is now a big name in NYC healing/dietician industry ~ super proud of her.
The other one is used by people I know who really like it.
Their tag is “You deserve to be happy” ~ there is no greater gift you give to yourself.