Hello darkness, my old friend ~ I’ve come to talk to you again …
Jim Carry was on a talk show tour several years ago, talking about the core of human existence being a character. It’s so true.
We are all characters in the great play that is life.
Our true self is not the self we put on to show up in public. We create a version of ourselves for the public so that we can seem to have our shit together, so that others will approve of us, or like us. We dress one way or another so that they will admire us. We want people to be convinced that we are likable, trustworthy, beautiful, well put together, and even ~ to be admired.
At home, we shift back, in the silence of our own deepest comfort, to the authentic self.
In public, we create a version of ourselves that we want to project in exchange for being liked, accepted or admired. Until one day, we can’t tell the difference between who we are, and who they tell us we are.
Most people settle for that.
Our suffering, depression, and sadness happens when we aren’t in alignment with who we authentically are.
We create opinions on how others should be living. We want them to live the way we do because it’s more comfortable than having to compete with “different”.
We are more at ease among others who share our values ~ who look like us ~ who speak our language, metaphorically and literally.
We humans condition ourselves to sameness, then crave curiousness.
I listen to soothing music on YouTube ~ I know there are so many other choices such as Spotify, Pandora, or Apple Music … you do you booboo ~ I listen to YouTube. It is what it is.
There are actually channels on YouTube (and probably the others) where someone created a “silence” channel. I thought they were kidding. I laughed a bit.
I mean, people DO realize that they can turn the electronics off and sit quietly without electric to achieve the same goal … right?
Then, I pulled open my conscious-cultural-awareness-door to remember that not everyone has the luxury of silence, as I do.
Some people live in noisy apartment buildings, or houses. Some people live in crowded, packed cities or countries. The sound of silence would be a crave for them.
Crave ~ a desire to have something we don’t or can’t have.
In the silence, I found my voice. In the silence, I learned to be at rest. With the silence, my old friend, I remembered who I was, before the world told me who I should be. Before they did what they did.
When people live through trauma a majority of their lives, they are uncomfortable with the silence. When they’ve been caged by toxic environments full of tension, chaos or sorrow, the very notion of sitting in silence is a painful one.
Become comfortable in your silence and confident in the darkness of your own company ~ relax into it … bit by bit, it will be your super power.
Then, you will eventually choose it.
It will become the center of you so that no matter what happens, you will feel the power of your quiet time calling you home.
Darkness, silence, quiet ~ they are the greatest healers we have.
Choose to rest in the quiet ~ allow it to choose you back.
Some people were devastated, disrupted and violated in the darkness. They are afraid of it. The very idea of being in the silence or dark is terrifying to them.
We have this terrible practice of sharing our quippy meme art or advice as if it applies to everyone. It doesn’t.
We are off base to share happiness wisdom with the entire world as if it will apply to everyone.
More and more, our world of psychology is finally waking up from that honey moon to realize it too.
It’s time to put away the elitist, insensitive, intensely incorrect assumption that everyone can follow our advice.
We need to be silent.
We, the helpers and healers need to sit quietly and listen to them ~ listen to their pain ~ listen to the fears ~ just … listen.
We know that the purest love is in the pain we allow ourselves to feel. If we didn’t love so profoundly, we wouldn’t feel so deeply. Ambivalence is the death of love, not emotional pain.
We heal and hurt in perfect unison.
Happiness is knowing that our pain is healing some part of us so that we can continue to grow into a space of love.
Then, we must remember ~ the light life is our reward for bearing the balance.
It is to be human to feel both while continuing to love ourselves enough to sit in still calmness.
In peace and quiet,
(c) @happinessnoir @inkhoneypub @K.ArenHenryMiller