When your eyes are open to a thing, you’ll never unsee that thing again.
Thus is the way of life for those who’ve experienced trauma, or epic adventure.
OR… an eye opening understanding of someone. Including someone you once looked up to. Including someone you may feel love for.
It is possible to live a serious life or an adventurous life that others do not understand.
It is not possible to uNsee something once it is there.
I’ve heard people in my field [education psychology] encourage people to question and doubt themselves, but … that can be disastrous for those who also experienced trauma ~ domestic violence ~ violence ~ abuse.
The whole world with the abuser was flipped upside down while they were told that they were “imagining” it or “paranoid” … They were questioned all the time as a gaslighting trick of the DV trade.
So when a teacher, therapist, counselor or “expert” tells them to doubt themselves ~ they are stripping that person of the one thing that may have literally saved their lives.
That gut feeling … the memories … the intuition that we must hone into a fine instrument ~ not dismiss it as worthless.
Why do people do that?
It’s primarily females who use it to get out of a dangerous or violent situation.
Males are told to listen to their gut. Double standards? Hell yes there are.
When you live in a dark existence filled with torment, trauma or that never ending loop of attracting evil to your empathic soul, you still hold on to a little spark of light somewhere inside. That doesn’t mean you stop trusting yourself.
Not everyone hears the plea from the quiet members of society. Those who lived through things that others can’t even fathom.
The fluffy, happy-go-lucky study of the “positive” simply won’t do for an entire population of people.
It’s well and good enough for those who don’t actually have anything challenging them other than boredom. It’s not good enough for those who survived something terrible.
Those that sell and study the happy are oddly offended by that notion, and yet, those who experience ‘happy’ differently are offended by being told to look at the bright side, to be happy, to just … snap out of it.
I’ve heard the cry of the forever-changed and I can’t unsee them ever again.
One person’s journey has nothing to do with another person’s journey.
One rule of thumb I learned the hard way ~ the less you make, the less they will value you, and the less they will treat you well. It should be the other way around but nope.
We have build an entire world around looking down on someone who is already beneath us in financial status. Even those who were trained to help them, are looking down on them. .
I can’t unsee what I have learned across a lifespan. The way people treat others. The experiences of the underserved. The way people act when they know they are unvalued in our rather elitist societies. They in turn, walk around angry. Who can blame them?
We are living in a world that has become accustomed to wanting all the answers in a NY minute, but lacking in dedicating the time into experiencing anything. Let alone learning about it ~
The quick to comment ~ yet devoid of emotional attachment to the comment
The quick to condemn ~ utterly lacking interest in knowing the whole truth
The quick to allow or accept unacceptable behavior from someone just because they have influence or power.
The quick to love unworthy people who happen to have something we envy ~ be it a physically fit body or status ~ or wealth.
Why do people “worship” images on the internet just because it’s easier than saying, “what qualities does this individual have that are truly admirable?”
We all just assume all the time. Vapid know-it-alls infused with entitled shallowness is an ugly elixir of make believe. We are creating a space for good, but in tandem with a space for evil to grow exponentially.
If you are starting to believe that you know everything ~ are everything ~ deserve everything ~ but put nothing into the service to anyone else ~
You are as much in danger of becoming ugly as the people who celebrate their ugliness on purpose.
This may come as an outrageous shock to some people but ~ it IS possible that there are some happy people out there who aren’t a shiny, pretty penny looking for somewhere to gleam in the sunshine.
There are people out there who are very happy, but also experienced a life time of sadness. They don’t go around leaping, dancing or prancing for all the world to see them.
There are people out there who are heavier than the average “norm-accepted” who are very happy with their weight and size.
We can learn from each other. We just have to be brave enough to do that.
There are people out there who are living in fiscal insecurity who don’t have interest in buying into to the easy button of thinking positive thoughts, and yet, somehow, still get by.
There are neurodivergent people out there who find your neurotypical lives as strange and off balance.
There are blind who can see and deaf who can hear far beyond anyone with all five senses intact.
Everyone studies what they are most interested in or what aligns the most with their own lives.
The truly brave are those who seek new experiences in completely strange worlds in order to understand how others live. We don’t have to go very far either. Attend the church across town. Volunteer at a soup kitchen ~without taking pictures of the poor to show what a “good” person you are. Shop in the deep discount stores, and treat others with kindness.
In peace and great adventure,
(c) @happinessnoir @Inkhoneypub @K.ArenHenryMiller