Life plays out like a …

I took a day to myself. No writing. No interacting. Nothing. It takes great strength to do nothing. Real nothing.

Doing nothing is doing something.

The Empty Table Photo Credit: @K.ArenHenryMiller

Netflix has some great saves ~ the streaming services kept some of us company ~ especially during the pandemic.

Not everyone was bundled into a joyful home with a loving partner, or adorable Van Trapp singing children.

Some of us did a lot less. We healed from trauma; grew into who we were supposed to be before the world told us who we are.

There are writers who never thought they could write for a living and poets who are finally expressing themselves. People are discovering that simplicity and minimalism are actually quite pleasant.

Everything sounds like a meme now, and YOuTubers have discovered Tik Tok. The internet has exploded with information ~ we just have to find it.

Someone once posted a meme that read, “This year, stop doing shit you hate” ~ but she also has been increasingly hating her life over the course of the past five of the ten years that I’ve known her. On Facebook anyway. Maybe her perfect online life is not perfect after all. Maybe …. it’s just that humans change. All of us. Over time. We all change, like it or not. .

I made friends, then watched them die this past year and a half (we keep forgetting that there’s a poignant twist to September 11th, 2021, which just passed). Four people in my FB friend group died. Others lost their loved ones. Others still created new bonds with new people.

Life has gone on all around us. Even when we are sitting still, in a busy outdoor restaurant, wondering what life is like for those others.

On September 11th, we know what happened in NYC 20 years ago. I spent the day overthinking what’s gone on since then.

I’ve come full circle in those 20 years. I know exactly where I was and exactly where I am right now. Full circle.

Still here. Counting blessings, but also threw the rose colored glasses off a while ago.

It is possible to be very content with one’s life while also unapologetically unafraid to see the darkness in the world in equal measures.

Photo by Shiva Smyth on

March 11th was the last day of normal as we knew it. September 11th is the half birthday to March 11.

I know this because pre-9/11, it was my half birthday.

We’ve been battling the war of the virus for 18 months.

Not everyone is equipped for a war of this magnitude.

The paradigm of my former profession is more important than ever, but it’s also become (thanks to the internet) just like every other industry. A story of two distinct sides with a whole lot of outliers.

Picked apart and watered down until the world uses it for memes, but doesn’t heed it’s advice. Instead, privateers, like pirates are stealing left and right. Immoral monsters have emerged to tell others how to feel, what to think, and where to spend their time.

Free will?

No, I don’t think so.

Anarchy perhaps.

Kings and Queens have emerged as the authority but why isn’t anyone questioning that? I’ll take democracy over royalty every time.

Critical thinking is important.

Why are we letting the websites, that are quite silly and full of bullshit, teach our students how to think? The internet bandits have decided to influence like the greatest grifters of all time. At the same time ~ this same serendipitous pool of primordial ooze has also given us the freedom to learn as we see fit.

We are learning new languages, new paradigms in delivering information, new skills and yes, new wonders are being discovered.

The truly scary part? People who are absolutely, concretely, out of the park wrong about important topics are speaking with SUCH conviction, we can’t look away.

Scholars and trained practitioners are the ones who are saying, let’s take a minute and study this further. Entrepreneurs are saying, “Just do it” ~ Nike tag line applied to all. Genius.

We are caught in a quagmire of intellect at the moment.

The human brain isn’t supposed to carry the weight of the entire world’s news on our shoulders. We invited the nightmares into our daymares. Our brain isn’t supposed to choose only the one side or the other then just … believe it or stay there either. But that is where we are.

The upside ~ freedom to be exactly whom we craft ourselves to be.

The downside ~ public forum bullying on a scale never before seen in human history.

Photo by cottonbro on

We humans read or hear something in a pretend news gossip garbage magazine or tv station ~ and believe it ’cause we like the way the caster/writer looks?


Vapid is winning?

We believe some wealthy, well put together, influencer because she’s slamming it behind the scenes or has never suffered a day in her life, but feels so entitled to speak about … whatever ~ that we just buy in.

Short sighted, uninformed, nepotism is winning.

We destroy other people’s careers because we cancel them ~ pitch forks anyone?

This mob mentality has never gone well before. And yet, those of us who dare to sit alone, questioning everything ~ the outcast.


We talk about them in coffee shops and online chats.

We zoom at each other, causing more eye strain right along with brain strain.

People of all ages are feeling compelled to join in the conversations we are having with ourselves.

We can be better humans. It’s easier to go with the flow of the crowd, but having the duality of condemning while saying, “bless your heart” is all the rage.

18 months ~ is all it took to create imaginary sides, while sitting in our cafe’s, eating our avocado toast, discussing our latest Tik Tok informed medical advice, as long as the doctor looks hot in a bathing suit, right?

And here we are.

Posting pictures of simple little tables, trying to find the meaning in the beauty of the red flowers juxtaposition behind the stark whiteness of the lone plastic table, while the world goes on about it’s day.

It’s funny how life works. This balance between good and evil ~ dark and light ~ deciding we are open while deleting those who don’t agree with us.

Just defending someone (unfriending?) we were never actually friends with ~ have we created our own Hunger Games and didn’t really realize it?

Are we our own Eutopian society now?

What’s next?

A bunch of bored billionaires trashing the world out of greed (spite?) making us all envy them, while people suffer so that they can spend a minute in space with the same amount of money that could literally cure world poverty?

Oh yeah. That also happened. Crazy, right?

Somebody somewhere is saying, “Oooooo, I don’t like that she said that. She’s cancelled. Unfriend. Delete. Maybe even, let’s report and complain that she said the thing that I don’t like. How dare she question the actions of the billionaires I have nothing to do with! I’ll destroy her.” …. Crazy, right?

Yes. It is crazy. And yes, I know that some people are offended by the word crazy. And yes, I know that some people will say, “we’re going to cancel this woman … she’s such a karen.” People who didn’t even exist in 1964 when my mother named me the most commonly used baby name for females.

Feck those people too. They need to go sit alone in a cafe and think about their own lives for a while.

This is why we need to take a day off to just ~ exist in the moment by quieting our minds.

We can become overwhelmed with overthinking. It’s not productive or healthy.

Time off from our macro level purpose … isn’t a bad thing. It’s a necessary thing.

We have to stop worshiping false gods and industry golden calves.

Am I the only one who sees that we’re doing this?

This isn’t new. We humans are repeating ourselves.

It’s a bit deep for a Monday morning. Darkness is creeping back in to our northern hemisphere and my cat loves to eat too much at 4 am, then throw up, while the other cat tries to eat the evidence of the gluttony.

It’s a mood.

Which brings me back to my point.

I took this off a FB page of a young lady who was bashing on single moms while telling the world what a good human being she was. Serendipity was flying that freak flag ~ this is reality right now.

The distraction of binge watching the world ~ it can only help so much. It can also hurt. Our productivity. Our ability to reconstruct ~ requires focus away from others.

Some fat cats are glutenous narcissists who think the world must pay attention to them exclusively while others feel the need to cover up the mess left behind.

Dare to eat alone ~ to think alone ~ to be alone ~ to question alone ~ to sit in your own quiet thoughts ~ to unfriend the world for a while, to allow your critical thinking to digest before taking the plunge back into the meal of information.

It’s not all digestible. Some of it is down right gross.

18 months ~ let’s hang on and not normalize this darkness. We can last longer. Shall we talk about the TWENTY YEAR war? See? No. I’m not going to talk about that but then, maybe we should. It’s not normal. Or good. Or healthy. We normalized war.

Some people, (in my positive psychology field) turned a tidy profit from it. They won’t want it to resolve itself any time soon. Greed and false god power is a powerful elixir.

It started to drive me crazy and I wanted to get in that arena until my logical brain told me to just tap out and go another path. One that was meant for me. One that was simpler, easier, more aligned with my true calling. Peace.

An easy, breezy, loving life ~ that is open to more than just one way of thinking.

Photo by Monica Turlui on

I hope to see a thousand new novels about this Lord of the Flies shite we’re living in at the moment.

The thing is ~ even though I walked through some fecking horrible darkness ~ I have hope.

“We’re not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again.” ~ Pink & Nate Ruess

Pink and Nate Ruess ~ Just Give me a Reason

I need some coffee. Off to write the opposite POV on the light and dark over on my other blog. I left the “unavailable video” in ~ as a living piece of pop culture artistry.

We can see it but we can’t see it because the artists want it seen only in a place that they control, but they also want it seen in a wide audience as long as you don’t look at it where it can’t be looked at.

Feels about right, sometimes? Singing a love song of hope for the world to right itself again for a while.

“We can learn to love again” ~ Pink & Nate Ruess

In peace and self awareness,

(c) @happinessnoir @inkhoneypub @K.ArenHenryMiller

From the Tao ~ I’m taking a class on how Chinese wisdom influences our awareness of what happiness is ~ because why not?

enlightenment also comes with a hitch. When we’re there, we have to be okay with the knowledge that not everyone is … that’s where I’m at. Knowing how much I have yet to know.

Published by happinessnoir

Writer | Advocate | Free Range Female | Change Agent | Essayist

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: