Ah, the simple life. We’ve all complicated it, then spent the rest of our lives trying to simplify it after we level up to a certain … not age, but awareness.
This quote about worrying ~ everyone I know with anxiety ~ and there are a lot ~ will either flip it the bird, or, they will live in crushing despair with the assumption that they can’t achieve this level of zen.
To my people ~ know this ~ it takes a hell of a lot of mental strength to get to the point where you acknowledge the worry as an issue in the first place. Correcting it is an Olympic sport. You have to want it.
The statement is in fact correct. It also looms over us with the intensity of an Arizona sunshine in the summertime when we worry.
Some people spend their whole lives worrying away the days.
I used to be one of them.
I tortured myself with overwhelming grief at the idea that something bad was going to happen. Shit, the more I worried, the more I developed anxiety and the more that overthinking happened, the more I couldn’t get away from those pervasive thoughts which lead, of course, to full blown actual anxiety that pushed me hard down the rabbit hole of not being able to not worry.
It’s a vicious cycle. Those who study it, become experts in it (I’m in the psych. business, so I speak from both sides of this proverbial one-way mirrored social experiment).
The thing is, until you actually live with something, you never get the full experience just by studying it. Living with it … let’s be honest … sucks.
You know who you are if you read that semi-colon. It was for you. As is this post.
The twisted truth is, no matter what anyone else says about worrying; not worrying; or lying down so the world doesn’t spin totally out of control; the only person who can pull you back to a place of peace is …
When people tell you, “don’t worry about it” they are probably speaking from a place of wishing that you weren’t so pocked full of worrying ~ and there is usually a good intention behind it, but sometimes, what they are actually saying is,
“Don’t worry about it because your anxiety makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t like that feeling so I’m not going to be around you or I’m going to psychically command you to stop worrying so I can be around you.”
The thing is ~ anxiety, though uncomfortable, also has an up side.
It’s the brain chemical you need to get you to the place where you can comfortably leave when you need to. The mind can also inspired you to do what is best for you in the moment.
The brain signals the body to feel so uncomfortable that you must ~ get to a safer place.
Performers, artists, poets, writers, musicians, actors, sports players (every sport) learn how to turn their stress inducing emotions into a source of power. They then use that power to fire up everything they’ve got for the performance.
Then, the good chemicals reward them by giving them that adrenaline high.
But when someone repeatedly pounds on us ~ physically, emotionally, psychologically, mentally, financially, socially, spiritually, etc. ~ it begins to erode our strength so that we end up with a puddle of thinking that our emotions are either “positive” or “negative’. They are not.
They aren’t “positive” or “negative” at all.
That’s the simplified version ~
They are signals to listen to. It’s our hard wiring helping us with our decision making. This is what mindfulness is actually all about. Tapping in to our inner voice, while embracing our core emotions.
We complicated it with trying to understand it.
We also ignore our own thoughts.
Why would we ignore ourselves, when our inner essence knows exactly what’s good for us in such a pure, white light brightness?
Because the rest of the world begins telling us who we are the moment we are born. No, the moment we are known to them. In the womb.
We begin receiving labels ~ family roles ~ social place cards ~ systemic expectations for generational leaders (or followers) ~ to the point where, all we have to do is survive birth and BAM!
You wear pink. You over there, wear blue. You, in the corner, we’re going to fuck with you the most ’cause you are neither girl, nor boy, and again, bam, we don’t understand you and that makes us question ourselves so … we’re going to tell you who you are.
Except, this nature vs. nurture dance never works out the way we planned it, and yet, we keep doing it.
Because with the exception of those courageous outliers who can think for themselves, outside the box, the labels keep us in line and the rules of the current trends in humanity make us feel more comfortable.
Therefore, we all develop some sort of anxiety.
Fitting in somewhere means, figuring out that we have to give in and do what is demanded of us.
Enlightenment is the awakening of the soul, in the body, to the point of seeing people for who they are, but knowing that it is not our job to do anything at all.
Want for nothing.
Be where our feet are (metaphorically speaking and literally so).
Live in the present moment.
Tap into our six senses on the regular.
Focus on love, even when the world creates a challenge of hate.
Ignore what we can’t change or change what we can.
Be who you are, but also be ready to accept that others will leave you if they don’t like that version of you.
Accepting that being alone is better than being with people who make us feel alone by their words, actions and behaviors.
Worrying is not a useless emotion. It’s an action emotion. it’s your internal universe telling you to get up and move in the direction of your desired life.
It’s an invitation to sit with your fear ~ comfortably ~ until your fear becomes your friend.
The world wants to have it’s alphas and the alphas are not prepared to be told “no” ~ so what?
“emptying today of it’s strength” ?
We are such linear thinkers ~ always busy ~ always trying to squeeze some deep meaning out of every single moment of every single day ~ what a bunch of arrogant asshats we all are.
Simplify the day.
If today is too much, don’t worry about the worrying. Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
Tomorrow, wake up knowing you honored your own emotions and nurtured your own soul.
You did do something in doing nothing.
You showed yourself love. The greatest gift you can have.
If something did in fact happen, even the worst fears realized… You could not have changed the outcome.
You stood in the presence of the moment and did your best. That’s all you needed to do.
We all overthink it because we are under some grand illusion that we have to always outsmart the rest of the world. Like life is some great big game of chess.
I used to be you if you’re a big worrier. I didn’t sleep well for years. My life was miserable until I decided that I wasn’t going to be miserable. The worst case scenario did happen. Over, and over and over again. I lived through the perfect storm of misery and sorrow. Now that I think about it, I don’t know how I survived it other than knowing that I lost everything.
Then, I got used to losing everything. Then, I realized that I didn’t lose the things that mattered the very most to me.
Bent ~ not broken.
Then, I realized that worrying didn’t serve the grief of loss, it intensified it.
Giving worry permission to move on was the only way I could discover other ways to accomplish life itself.
I am motivated by knowing what I don’t want as much as believing I deserve what I do want.
This internal dialog never leaves. When I feel a rise in the panic or anxiety, I remove myself from the place where I am.
This is a longer tale that’s headed into a book, but that’s a good place to start.
Go to your happy place even if that happy place is in your head. If you don’t have one, it’s free. Build it.
Build your happy place like it’s a game of Minecraft. Don’t know what that is? I’m familiar ’cause I raised children. It’s adorable.
What do you do to calm down in a firestorm of worrying?
Do you consider that it’s there to protect you, not torment you?
These memes that we all love so very much ~ they are only a tiny taster of the big slice of life. They aren’t meant to be the whole cake. Just a taste.
Well, look at the time ~ I’ve written too much again ~ I seriously doubt anyone will have read this far. Apparently, our attention span is atrophying from lack of use.
Don’t worry, be happy? Sure, easy peasy. Also, focus on it ~ and when you see other people worrying while you are worrying, think about all that energy, then think about how you can turn that little ball of energy into something really spectacular.
**In a good way**
I can’t do the work for you but I can promise you that it is possible.
Keep going. This is not how the story ends.
In peace and analysis,
(c) @happinessnoir@Inkhoneypub @K.ArenHenryMiller
The semi-colon project … I’d be neglectful if I didn’t mention it ~