Smart Women Curse

I love it when a super successful icon lets the expletives fly ~ and they are full on flags of freedom to say what they want to say without social pressure to curb their words or enthusiasm.

Carol Gilligan On Women in our world ~ if you haven’t read it ~ it’s a game changer.

I’m not shy to say that I’m a feminist … not a cliche’d version or an Uppity ~ offended – by – everything female. I grew up in an era of being called a chick or a broad. The 40’s powerful women in the movies owned it.

I would not have survived my childhood, or adulthood if I had had that approach to life.

No part of this girl’s life experience had the luxury of being offended by anything. I know now that this was a design of the universe.

The moment we say, “I’m offended by those words, therefore, I am not going to listen” is the moment we stop learning about the world we live in.

Disagree with the use of some words in certain settings? Sure. When kids are around, I don’t use cuss words. When delicate flowers are around, I don’t use curse words. I don’t spend a lot of time with people of a delicate nature.

I have almost drowned in the presence of hypocrites though.

That was a lot to take in.

Several academic/psychology people are offended by my use of cuss words but they are not offended by males using the exact same words ~ or those same males being vastly inappropriate with his/their students.

Hedy Lamarr

I have spoken to dozens of female academics who are also deeply offended by the ‘boys club” atmosphere, yet very few have the gumption or mental space to have to do battle with their male peers.

Strong women terrify others ~ it’s why I love meeting them. I love watching them work.

These woman who stand in their power, and own it. Priceless.

That’s NOT to be confused with female bullies and damn … there are more and more of those.

I’m not mentioning any, but we all know the celebrity status women ~ this isn’t about any one particular woman. it’s about the disproportionate number of individuals who make up rules of engagement for males/females/non-binary individuals that are not equal in status or power.

Where does the hypocrisy end? It doesn’t. One day, it will. Not yet.

Watch this clip from Andie MacDowel on The Graham Norton Show ** trigger warning … I’m offering a censor for the fragile feelings of people who lack the courage of listening to adults using cuss words**or seeing women wearing their age like a fine wine**or are uncomfortable with the Devine Billy Porter. These are usually the same people. :/

I’m never offended by language ~ I’m offended by hypocrisy though. I’m offended by people who put themselves out there as leaders, but who also turn a blind eye on offenses against our mentees and students.

I’m a gritty person. I’m totally comfortable with that. It’s how I was raised, and goes well with my nerd side that wants to know everything. My guess is, if we use gritty, gruff language around the leaders in the field of grit, there will not be a gritty word coming out of their academic mouths.

Why is that?

How is it that the women who write romance novels are 90% more comfortable talking about ‘trashy’ language ~ sex ~ the things that the academics teach about but aren’t comfortable bringing up in conversation.

We have to turn to our artists, actors, writers, story tellers, and some motivational leaders for all the words.

It’s not in what is said, but instead, how it is used.

The pen is mightier than the sword. #Truth

I’m offended by bullshit “morality clauses” that tell people one thing, while the judge/jury/executioner types act as if they are more valuable or important than anyone else.

Celebrities are professionals.

Have you ever met professionals in the writing profession? They are not afraid of words. Some of them are quite colorful. Knowing when to use them is a true art-form.

A lot like sex scenes or violence ~ too much, or unnecessary gratuitous use is going to subtract from the experience of the art.

It is not the words but the intent that offend or motivate people.

Know who else uses the morality police to clip the wings of others? Abusers.Domestic violence abusers. Master manipulators. And yes, academics who are a little too drunk on their power.

Helen Mirren

I’ve met my fair share of all of the above, so speak from both research and experience.

I write what I know.

Tangent!: Which writer first tossed out that advice? Write what we know?

I’d love to have a discussion with Stephen King or other authors of monsters.

I’d love to meet Charlaine Harris to ask her about Sookie Stackhouse. True Blood writers took that to the next level.

We are worried about cussin’ but not the violence being shown to our little eye balls, 24×7? What about the addiction to porn epidemic right now? I don’t hear a lot of them talking about that.

I do hear a lot of people boasting and bragging about how much money they are making but not a whole lot about the tangible evidence of the success of the verse they have contributed to the world.

I do hear a lot of collective protection of a field when they are questioned in their validity. That’s not how academia is supposed to work.

Nobody is attacking them, but they sure act as if they are threatened.

Know who else does that?

Narcissists when they are called out.

I’m not saying correlation, but … is there some causation?

What gives?

There are two very famous, successful writers that I love to read who both attended Harvard ~ you would never know about it, unless you really dug into their background. Humility is worn well in their professional achievements.

They stand on their words for their success.

I know another person who drops the word ‘Harvard’ into every single online clip, comment or connection. They use that as their leverage. They have also never once written an original thought. Everything in their life is given to them, paid for, or backed by other entitled puritanical elitists. They have no concept of how to relate to the people on the street. In their mind, I wonder if they even know how out-of-touch they are?

To each their own. Whatever makes you happy. But don’t push other people down because you do not understand their character or backstory. That is not the way.

In the event you are also interested in the words of women who don’t give a flip about the male lens on how we should speak, write or spend our lives ~ I highly recommend Smart B*tches, Trashy Books.

I don’t love everything they write, and sometimes, they can be hard. But then, I fully support their right to be that, if they want to.

Most of the successful academics in the romance writing genre, BTW, are also holding masters and doctoral degrees. Just sayin’ ~ smart & command of language go together.

Our words are not based on gender, stereotype, social morality clauses or the prudence police. They are based on our passions, interests, message and desire to say whatever the fork we want to, however we want to without being censored by people who themselves, have their own bag of cats to contend with.

Say what you want ~ speak as you will ~ ignore the call of the overly shrill.


(c) @happinessnoir @InkHoneyPub @K.ArenHenryMiller

p.s… read Carol Gilligan ~ you won’t be sorry.

Published by happinessnoir

Writer | Advocate | Free Range Female | Change Agent | Essayist

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