Opened Too Many Tabs

When you run a business flying solo ~ you are everything ~ right now, I have three tabs open ~ I’m trouble shooting a tech issue AND gaining a proper headache trying to follow the tech support folks who are trying to help me navigate.

Photo: Edgar ~ @K.ArenHenryMiller

Add in my daily java ~ now my brain is upside down, pretty close to shutting it all down w/a serious Do-Over of the entire day.

Did I say I woke up with a low grade fever?

Edgar, one of my foster kits ~ had a viral brain injury at 3-4 weeks. He walked around in circles while recovering against all odds. For whatever reason, his eyes went in two directions, but his disposition remained true to his nature.

The sweetest little bumble cat you’d ever meet.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed ~ like today ~ while trying to wear all my hats at the same time ~ which we all know does not work ~ I think of Edgar.

His simple, sweet, slow ~ one tab at a time way of doing things.

My lists? Have you ever seen a “B” brain (creative tendency) brain list of “to-do”?

It looks more like a bee hive and less like a graduate of Warton’s MBA program. No, I’m no MBA, but honestly? It wouldn’t kill me to pursue a few business classes these days.

I did force myself to organize, but finally, after all these years, have made peace with the fact that my desk will never be Pinterest worthy. It will always look more like Einsteins’ desk ~ or Piagets … have you seen pics of those?

Therapy in a Nutshell

Organized chaos ~ stacks of papers ~ Kondo would shutter at the thought, but it works. I know where everything is. Sort of. In the general direction of which pile to look through.

I won’t get into the science of how the brain works and I know there will be disputes about the “A/B” types along with ~ well, shite, everything.

FYI ~ 3 hours w/tech support ~ today. Yesterday, it was 2 hours. They can’t resolve my issue. I’ve now spoken to 4 people who keep bouncing me from one department to another.

Apple is making me cry. The customer service ladies are very sweet. It’s the system.

Verizon makes me cry too ~ they aren’t always so lovely.

Don’t even get me started with Spectrum.

Geico? Great customer service every time.

Wells Fargo … whom I will NEVER work with ~ are an actual nightmare who trained their customer service people to bully, torment and harass people … scary shit those fellas.

From grocery stores to large box stores to the mom and pop shops around the world …

Photo by Alexander Isreb on

We are all struggling. We all need some compassion. We all need some support.

Sometimes, I just want to be a secret shopper ~ consumer reporter ~ Yelper.

Come on though … a Yelp reviewer named karen?

Um…. not a good idea.

That’s a WHOLE other blog.

I wish the world were more like Edgar.

One tab at a time | Simplicity is best | Stay humble, my bumbles | Stress?

That’s a different subject entirely.

So ~ THANKS Apple …. ’cause the experience has triggered my anxiety ~ which has at this point …. left me DONE for the day. It’s 11 am.

Serendipity ~ I am a solo practitioner ~ I am a solo parent ~ I can’t afford to shut down. Solo entrepreneurs don’t have that luxury so? I’ll take a quick break, pull up the bootstraps and get back in there with my next task.

Mindfully. Actively rewiring my brain to regulate my emotions.

I think about all the other people out there with high functioning anxiety or PTSD or solo practitioners working from home but …. it has given me a take away.

These poor technicians who have to deal with answering our questions while their GIANT companies create impossible scenarios that can’t be sorted out ….

It’s not the very lovely ladies on the phone who tried to help me.

It’s the GIANT corporations that crush us, the goldfish in their ocean of small print loopholes that are fucking with all of us.

No. Giant companies like Apple ~ they aren’t the ocean. They are the plastic in the ocean.

I just hung up. I had to. I was loyal to Apple for their ‘simplify’ philosophy that turned into a giant plastic lake choking the shit out of my goldfish problems.

I’m shutting down all tabs now. I need to go outside and ground ~ I’ll still be fuming mad that I gave up 5 hours of my life and thousands of dollars to entrust a business to deliver the way they promise to deliver.

Solo entrepreneurs are silenced by big corporations. Mom and Pop shops are drowning in the Walmarts of the world, and yet, offer so much more than money can buy.

Can you tell I have a pet peeve with huge companies and huge name people who simply do NOT care who they hurt as long as the bottom line continues to be profitable for them?

I do.

The good news? I didn’t totally lose it. I didn’t yell, or scream and I remembered my manners and I apologized for getting upset even though THEY (the company). once upon a time, my brain was a fried. I snapped like a piece of rubber that spent too much time, floating on one of those floating garbage islands. Stress and live events did that.

I imagine at some point, my brain looked a lot like sweet Edgars.

Edgar the Wonder Cat

I rewired my brain by meditation ~ mindfulness ~ actively staying consciously aware of myself IN stressful situations. Trust me, having a phone conversation w/tech person x 5 …. that is a VERY stressful situation for me. A non-tech savvy person. Especially when they lose patience ’cause I can’t keep up with their tech lingo.

Today ~ I’m closing my tabs. I’m going to go work on all the stuff that doesn’t stress me out to reset the stress hormones that are currently pelting me with the “it didn’t work ~ it’s not going to work” signals my cortisol starting shooting at me.

  • Cuddle a cat ~ they purr, our brain calms down.
  • Paint, read or write ~ the act of creating makes our brains feel happier, we calm down.
  • Drink crisp, clean water (hopefully, it will be available to you, I don’t assume it is in every country). The refreshment helps our bodies to be hydrated, which in turn, helps our brains to cool off.
  • Shower ~OR … go outside (hopefully, you have some greens and/or natural dirt, not city dirt). If you live in a Pinterest worthy home, go shower outside.

  • Getting back to nature … yep. Helps the brain. Plus, you can scream “F********CCCCCKKKKKK” as loud as you want outside … sort of. Getting out the frustration ~ helps the brain to deregulate back to “try, try, again”.

In peace and mental health,

(c) @happinessnoir @Inkhoneypub @K.ArenHenryMiller

Published by happinessnoir

Writer | Advocate | Free Range Female | Change Agent | Essayist

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