Fantasy League Bachelor Nation ?

Take a shot every time you hear the word, “vulnerable”.

Brene Brown

I know! I know!

Brene Brown made vulnerability a thing. She put it on the map. I’ve been a fan since her 1st Ted Talk (I’ll share it below if you can’t get it in your country).

Vulnerability IS a strength. Being honest is a strength. Being truthful in our reality is trending ~ my deep dive into the stories over on Tik Tok have proven that to be a lovely reconnection to humanity. Remember though, I intentionally looked to shift the algorithm to show me this instead of some of the more supercilious or vapid drivel on there.

Everyone has a guilty pleasure. Mine … I’m about to confess something that is TOTALLY opposite of every other part of my life.

I …. am a fan of the RomCom. This one is a twist. RomCom w/a twist. There’s so much to like. Then, there is so much to NOT like.

I watch Bachelor Nation. I have, for the most part, since it’s beginning. I missed a few seasons when it got really cringe worthy.

Okay, most of it is cringe worthy. Or, as one report called it, “America’s Guilty Pleasure”

Bachelor Nation

10 Things I Hate (to love to hate to love) About Bachelor Nation

  1. Besides the obvious that it’s misogynistic AF? It’s also something I wonder about all the time compared to my own dating experience in the 80’s. Date ’em all at once, make them “prove themselves’ quickly. Eliminate them quickly. Pick the fan favorite. Travel to beautiful locations. Get a big fat diamond as the end prize. Make some money while living out our stupid 20’s ’cause MOST people are a bit dumb in their 20’s. I hope. That’s what that age is for.
  2. It’s sizest AND ageist. There was that dude who was 40, but felt compelled to walk around naked in Bachelor in Paradise. Um? Secure with himself or … truly insecure and desperate for attention? Either way. Live your life, it’s not my business. I just still can’t wrap my head around what this show would look like with older people or normal size to bigger people. It’s a fantasy. I get it.
  3. WHY do the “girls” ~ ahem, they are all full grown women, so let’s call them that ~ WHY do they have to leap up into every “big. strong. man” arms, wrapping their legs around his waist. What IS that? Gross. WTF? I’m so confused. Are young women doing that in general or is that a show thing?
  4. “I’m a tiny size zero girl just looking for my happily ever after big strong man boy, who is ripped and cut and handsome, so he (and I) MUST be very successful, ’cause looks are what matters most in the business of finding love”. ~ Said no actual human ever. Except a very few ~ professional athletes maybe and probably models? But not average people. Grrr.
  5. EVERY one of them is picked apart with a fine comb. Yes. Like Lice. Except, only the parts of their personality that seem the juiciest are put on camera. They ARE human beings, yet the fans treat them like the character they are portrayed to be on the show. Are fans the problem?
  6. This one’s a bit more philosophical. IS this the fantasy life of the average young American? Unreality celebrity status? Look at Hallmark movies. Look at the billion … yes, BILLION dollar romance genre industry …. people WANT the escapism. When real life is shite, tune in or tune out with escapism entertainment. This is true. There is research to back it up.
  7. It’s not hurting anyone so why not? Unless it hurts someone. Then, why?
  8. The whole drag through racism ~ dude … I was saying that back when it started. ’nuff said. That heated conversation could have happened up to ten years earlier.
  9. The low success rate ~ honey … I could have told them how impulsive engagements work out. I tried it … twice. Only knew my 1st husband for a month. Marriage lasted 18 months. Shocker ~ it was a shite show. The 2nd? Less than a year … a longer shite show. Get to know your partner!!!! These days ~ do a background check too. Save yourself some pain.
  10. There are a million other ways to spend our time. OR to give our attention. But so what? If people (en mass) want to watch a romance novel/reality show that’s highly scripted … who cares? If it helps someone to divert some attention for a while ~ it’s nobody’s business.
Book Recommend ~ by Michael A. Singer

Now, I’m not a shot-drinking sort of person, but someone posted a fantasy league yesterday, which made me chuckle ~ I know someone else who hosts a fund raiser-fantasy league about Survivor.

IF it brings people together to share some community … so what?

I don’t watch television anymore. I have streaming services. Narrows the focus. Keeps it simple. Deletes the commercials.

Since I’m shifting everything else in life ~ I decided to keep the ONE reality show ~ I got rid of the rest. I know they are silly. However, those contestants make a nice living with their celebrity status. It’s part of the paradigm shift in our entertainment. MILLIONS of people buy in. Why not? I’m a fan of e-commerce.

Some of them are making 6 & 7-figure salaries from it. That’s not silly. It’s business.

If we can cultivate our own lives, and are willing participants in the experiences ~ there’s no harm in it.

Does it create a desire for young people who have a body insecurity to wish they looked like that? Probably ~ but I HOPE that this is just a small slice in the body image crisis that we have going on.

As for all of these other issues. We can all write volumes analyzing it. I’ve chosen to just ~ let it go and not making thinking about this part of it.

Writers ~ don’t just watch the show. Watch how people watch the show.

Watch how people respond to the people who watch the show.

We are all so darn critical of other people’s choices or the way they live their lives.

Photo: @K.ArenHenryMiller

This is a thing I work hard in never doing. Humans all have preferences. We don’t have the right to be harshly critical ~ but we choose that.

We can choose to keep our opinions to ourselves. Most of all ~ if we don’t like something ~ create a thing that we DO like.

Whatever we’re into ~ it’s ours to own. Nobody else’s. Inflict no harm ~ do no harm ~ stay in our own lane and as Byron Katie says,

“It’s not your job to like me. That’s my job”

SINCE “vulnerability” is the new catch phrase/word/guide in this reality game … I have a question.

I think there’s a thing as “manipulative, fake – vulnerability” ~ we took the concept explained in research and turned it ~ along with other psych. terms ~ into a profit margin.

Either way ~ it’s entertainment … awful, corny, sometimes sweet and for sure, not my lane to worry about ~ let it go.

MOST important ~ IMO, IF you don’t like something … DON’T watch or follow it. Either accept it or change yourself.

In peace and vulnerability,

(c) @happinessnoir @Inkhoneypub @K.ArenHenryMiller

Published by happinessnoir

Writer | Advocate | Free Range Female | Change Agent | Essayist

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