2020 ~ We could have come together. Why didn’t that happen?

This year has been a lot ~ for all of us.

Photo: K.ArenHenryMiller

One thing I noticed is that people … have gotten meaner to each other ~ online and to a certain extent … in person (just ask the folks working those “essential worker” jobs …

And before you gaslight me with, “you are the people you surround yourself with” ~ I have intentionally been part of three distinct professional groups who have totally different lens on the world ~ to remind myself not to get stuck in anyone’s bubble.


There are the ultimate optimists who refuse to see any of the hardships or sorrow ’cause it’ll harsh your mellow.

The ultimate power hungry [usually humble braggers] who refuse to stand up to anyone who could advance their career, even if that person is known to hurt others for his own pleasure and ego.

Then there’s the ocean between us level of not listening to anyone who doesn’t agree with us. God forbid someone not fully agree with us.

Ah humans ~ what is going on?

**BTW ~ I clicked on the Twitter Paragraph button to see what it would do. I have no idea. I also deleted my Twitter ~ that was also a choice. It wasn’t serving me or bringing me joy.

What brings me (us?) joy Marie Kondo?

Photo: Pinterest saved to HenryHealingPOV

What sparks my joy?

Not an avalanche of awful by way of social media.

Not likes or followers or fans who are there, hanging on the edge to see if we fail or fall.

Not presumed VIP’s who are in truth, awful, shitty people who don’t care if they harm others.

What does bring me (us) joy when we are rethinking our entire lives, as Middle aged females often do?

Simplicity ~ without debate

Small, lovely moments ~ without critique

Sweet scenarios that bring us joy ~ without raincloud commentaries from strangers

The things that actually have meaning in our world are not the big gestures and never once have to come from some pseudo-celebrity ‘expert’ who made themselves that way by going on YouTube to declare, “I AM THE EXPERT” while humble bragging their way into millions of followers.

Steve Jobs quote on Simplicity

Those moments when we overhear a young mom having an intense conversation with their kid, who for the first time, reveals their depth of understanding while the mom smiles in knowing she’s doing okay.

The moment when that kid pushing carts for a living decides to stop hating his job for just long enough to help an elder to their car in the rain.

When, in busy traffic, the collective world of fast ~ takes a moment to stop so a duck family can cross the street to safety.

These are the things that give our lives meaning.

People are strained ~ tired ~ mentally spent ~ exhausted ~ and morally declaring their own sense of who they are.

All this death has forced us to think about life.

It pushed us to look within. To wonder about our values. To see the world differently.

Social media is the greatest invention in humanity (debatable, but for the sake of this article) … but it is a thing.

Humans decide how to use that thing.

Humans decide if they are going to be purposeful or simply exist.

Many, MANY people ~ including people with huge power/titles/influence ~ have chosen to be truly shitty to random strangers or anyone who isn’t part of their inner circle.

My distinct groups make me a bit of an outlier but the funny thing about outliers, is that we are the observers. We are the ones who notice the nuances of the group think. We are those that see the group for what it is.

I like being a lone wolf. I tried being part of the pack … a few times. I’m entirely too confident in who I am and what I bring to the table to be anyone else’s beta bitch.

I like basic. I like simplicity. I like this not-so-crazy notion that people can adapt and change, learn and grow then fully actualize if they truly wish it so.

Yesterday, I was in a major city at a Whole Foods, just trying to get a basic cup of coffee and holy hell, I realized how pretentious the world around me has gotten.

They were willing to sell me a $5.00 cuppa “Americana w/extra foam” but they didn’t HAVE drip coffee or cow’s milk. They had grass fed. They had espresso. They had bottled, refrigerated processed, cold brew and Vente late w/extra fluff on the side of the maddening condescension on the part of the young fella who practically called me a karen in his best guttural fry JUST for asking ~ as if …

” this bitch is basic so she is wasting my time” sort of vibe.

After flippantly rejecting my inquiry, to which I was polite BTW, he hurried back to Hannah, restocking the deli and gossiping about Joaquin (hey! if y’all can call me a karen, I can call you by general stock-answer-names too).

What this and several other hipster/yuppie/organically sourced trend setter did not have?

A basic cup of coffee.

Coffee, like life ~ does NOT have to be complicated. We MAKE it complicated.

Photo by Andrew Neel on Pexels.com

When we’re serving our public ~ it is clear who we want for consumers.

This is true of social media ~ this is true of our service industry ~ this is true of academia, and the literary world and public education.

This is true of authentic diversity that includes ALL people’s in ALL groups.

They have clear, distinct, not so subtle lines that are not to be crossed ~ or else.

We complicate everything all the time. That’s who we are. This generation.

Is this over complication an insecure cover up as if to say, we are sophisticated and need to prove it to the world?

Ironically, when talking about actualization ~ a concept that a rare few will fully understand ~ we are also isolated and alone … not lonely, but alone to continue to think.

Those who fully know themselves have zero to prove to anyone else. We aren’t going to be influenced by someone else ~ we see people for who they are and understand that they are doing what they do because that is how they negotiate the world.

Some are good ~ others are awful.

There ARE 50 shades of gray in that yin yang/black white/shadow and sunshine way of being in the world.

Why are people choosing awful? Rude? Belligerent? Violent?

Emotional dis-regulation

Physical strain from fear




Pain and suffering

A desperate need for attention to feel validated in the choices they make.

There are many reasons.

I just … don’t know why so many people are choosing hate. They don’t realize or maybe they do, that they are choosing hate, but they are.

There is no actual way to have that conversation with anyone since no matter what we say, someone, somewhere will be offended by it.

This drama ~ carried out for monetary gain in many of the social media platforms ~ is the driving force.

South Park

People are choosing to either delight the masses with their expertise ~ OR ~ shock value.

I’m choosing information gathering. I have no interest in shock value and find it hard to watch exploitation in exchange of popularity.

Considering how many millions of people follow blindly, some very misguided, manipulative people ~ I’m not interested in that formula. It’s tempting. Sure it is.

But at what cost?

The way we as a collective species on this planet act today will define generations of influencers in our future.

There have been several articles about the discovery of our (my)Viking ancestors ~ yes, I have Viking blood in my bones. It was found in North America ~ a 1,000 year old encampment. A thousand years ago doesn’t influence who I or we are today, but it does contribute a verse to our human history.

I have to be forward thinking ~ it’s both a philosophy and a survival mechanism.

When I hear about a 1,000 year old tribe of Vikings ~ my first thought is, how will we, us, here in the 21st century, the year of 2020 ~ be interpreted with our digital platforms by our descendants?

If we can’t care about even three generations in the future, or three generations in the past ~ can we at least give a shit about how we are all acting right now?

Our world is changing … rapidly. Perhaps that’s too overwhelming for some.

I for one, need a social media break.

Social media is part of my work life, so I can’t take a full one. I can do a partial. I can do a mega cleanse of the lens. We can stop doing shit we hate but stop following other people’s guidelines for how we live our lives.

I’ll find the balance but like I said in my very first blog post here ~ this blog is organic. Girl … they are ALL organic, but most of them wear make up to give the illusion of something else … I’m bare faced learning how to blog better and not hiding my jiggly bits.

Sure ~ to address the first part of this ~ we are all going to have people around us that we don’t agree with or maybe don’t like entirely. We don’t have to delete them as if they are pixels in the wind … unless they are toxic poisonous pixels … then dump and run. You don’t need that sort of hate in your life.

Photo by Cody King on Pexels.com

So … here we are.

What are you choosing?

Are you still reading? I lost a bunch of you back on word 300 ~ this is a chapter, not a blip. Sorry, not sorry ~ it’s heading into a book so … the literary world is the one I’ve chosen over the other two.

I had to refocus and redesign how to apply my body of work.

We get to choose which lens we have on the world. One of those choices can be so see the world in balance ~ to realize that life is a long game and to embrace the fact that there are nine billion humans on earth now (compared to only 2 billion in 1928) ~ there will be tension.

Here’s to finding joy in this crazy chaotic jungle of choices!

May you find your simplicity

In peace and choosing wisely,

(c) @happinessnoir @InkHoneyPub @K.ArenHenryMiller


Published by happinessnoir

Writer | Advocate | Free Range Female | Change Agent | Essayist

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