Middle Aged Women Are Unpacking

On Tik Tok. On Twitter. On Facebook & Pinterest , Tumblr and even … on LinkedIn.

See, we, the women born in the 50’s, 60’s and even into the 70’s are talking about our life experiences. Those of us who lived with and tolerated years of abuse, are talking.

It’s scaring the shit out of everyone. Younger women are confused to hear that maybe, just maybe, their mothers and grandmothers are the way they are because they are also survivors.

The ‘enlightened’ ones are telling us that we have ‘dark energy’ or, ‘negative thinking’. The entitled, elitist power players are telling us to “get over it” and to “move on”.

We are survivors of decades of suppression that we fought so that our young ones can freely talk about their life experiences out loud. We had to throat punch our way into the world so that the world would just leave us alone.

We are telling our experiences or losing our shit in public because we are (thanks for the line Howard Beale),

“Mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore”.

Except … we’re not mad. We’re numb. We’re scarred, wary, unapologetically speaking out ~ you took your best shot. We survived it. We have no interest in being

‘warriors’ ~ I don’t anyway. I am a passive person who quietly goes about my day but I’ll be damned if even one more person tells me what I’m allowed to talk about or not.

I’m no warrior, but I will not go silent into the night either.

Fuck that.

Women who are thin ~ attractive ~ socially popular ~ wealthy ~ they are safe to talk about their past experiences or major life events.

Women who are heavier ~ average looking ~ socially unknown ~ living on a lower income? They are being blamed for everything that’s wrong with society.


Because they are so traumatized by a lifetime of systemic prejudice, bias and social rejection ~ that they are terrified that once again, life will crush them if they dare speak up and out.

Social push back feels like a punch in the gut.

Community-wide rejection and ridicule feels like a thousand pound brick on your heart.

They expect these quieter female citizens to just shut up and comply with the louder, more self-entitled power players.

Our journey through this life time, regardless of stature in society, is ours and ours alone.

Women are done running from their own lives, the way Forest Gump was done running after the death of Jenny.

Just. Done.

We all have a place here. It is within our right to speak our truth, even if that makes other people uncomfortable. No matter what we look like on the outside, we have a contribution to the world at large.

Tell your story ~ out loud ~ it will scare the shite out of you because that’s the trauma bond we have with speaking of the unspeakable things we’ve had to endure our entire life times.

If you have to watch what you say around people ~ just to be accepted or liked or valued ~ those are the wrong people for you.

If you have to be 100% alone in order to remember who you are, before the world decided that for you ~ be alone.

It’s better to be alone than with people who make you feel lonely in your own heart.

If other people are treating you as if you are a 2nd class citizen to their greatness, you have a right to say, “No. This is not how this is going to play out.” ~ no matter what else, you will have found your voice in this sea of others, trying to make themselves bigger than you.

When anyone tells you that you have “no right” to share your opinion or narrative or experiences ~ they are abusing you on a profoundly personal level. If they had wanted you to speak highly of them, they should have thought about that when they were graced with your presence. It’s too late, once you walked away.

Nobody is entitled to you or any part of your life.

Only you.

Unpack all that shit that’s holding you down from your extraordinary life. Grieve what you can’t get back. Stand up, dust off ~ then try again. No matter how many times it takes. No matter the heart break you lived through. No matter how many times you repeated the pattern.

If you are here ~ reading this ~ it’s not too late to be you.

The you that deserves the love, the romance, the friendships, the trust, the respect, the laughter, the life of someone who doesn’t think twice about the things you love to do.

That dark energy, ‘negative’ stuff that makes people feel uncomfortable? It’s just a part of the power we’ve come into. We are not afraid of the dark or talking about anything that feels negative. We walked through that hells cape. We have learned how to harness it so we can turn it into something incredibly lovely, light and good.

Light workers ~ healers ~ mentors ~ Sheroes ~ and guides through the universe of repression ~ they have been there. They will walk you toward your light.

Be you. The world will adjust.

In peace and speaking up,

(c) @happinessnoir @InkHoneyPub @K.ArenHenryMiller

Published by happinessnoir

Writer | Advocate | Free Range Female | Change Agent | Essayist

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