#Stitch

I just learned this. It’s a TikTok thing where people can take anything you put on Tik Tok, then slice it up and attach it to your own TikTok.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

I’ve seen it used 3 ways.

  1. People are using the clips to add their own opinion to the opinion of the provider. Sometimes it’s nice. Other times, it’s someone slashing and burning the 1st poster.
  2. People want to contribute their own verse to the story being told ~ to continue on and add solidarity with the original poster (this is my favorite).
  3. The dark side is always there ~ People just want to make fun of or belittle the value of the original poster for … well, who knows why people feel compelled to mock, belittle, devalue, disrespect or threaten others? Broken things happen, but we suspect it is because hurt people want to hurt people. Or, they are sociopaths who find enjoyment in hurting others. Anything is possible. (This is my least favorite).

I’m conflicted with social media right now, but like all crossroads throughout my life, I’ve been able to clearly see both the good and the bad in people’s intentions.

I was trauma bonded to the dark side for a very long time. I had to live in the shadow of toxic others while surviving life. The thing is, we never see that it’s not normal until we come out from those shadows, but don’t know that they are shadows while in them.

This is one reason so many people continue to make choices that seem similar to the last big mistake they made. Repeating the cycle is normal for someone who was traumatized. They just don’t realize it until … they realize it.

Therapy helps.

So does busting out of the comfort zone. Getting out of that bubble of sameness.

Meditation helps.

So does exploring outside of your own safety zone.

For so many millions of people who can’t figure out how to stop the repeat patterns, or broken relationships, they don’t fully know (consciously) that they have to become UN-comfortable before they can find comfort.

We have to boldly shift our awareness of the world (psychically and psychologically) so that we can see the other side of the mountain we’ve been living in.

When our norm is chaos, chaos becomes our comfort food.

When safety and happiness are our norm, we can’t even begin to fully understand how other people feel … FEEL safe or happy.

It’s all about emotional connection to the self and then, others. Not the other way around.

So many of us mimic the lives of those we deem successful. We follow the trends to feel safe. We join the crowd to feel a sense of belonging.

What we don’t do most of the time?

Travel alone. Eat alone. Sleep alone. Live alone. Think alone. Be, alone.

We don’t spend any time alone to the point where alone is all we have.

When our days are filled with our aloneness, and we are not lonely … that is when we have achieved a sense of clarity and peace that very few people desire.

If feels good to belong to a #Stitch of narratives that share our same experience. We feel connected, heard and valued. It’s healthy to add our verse in a proactive way, to the story of others. It is literally saving lives.

We also too easily devalue the story of others if we can’t relate to it. Look at how quickly people are cyber destroying the lives of others simply because they are not interested in the backstory of someone’s life.

When we show a woman having a complete anxiety attack, or rage filled rant in public, which is most likely a panic attack, we call her a karen, then proceed to crush her entire life. She loses her job, her home, her safety, her sense of self, her family and even friends. She becomes ostracized to the extreme.

Did you mean to do that? Did hurting someone in their crisis bring you joy? Are you proud of yourself if you did? If she were you, how would you feel? Was she wrong?

Many times, a lot of the slice of life moments we see on these clips are pretty awful. My 1st thought every single time is, what happened before the video? What happened after?

Do some of these people deserve to be punished? Sure. Some of them are awful. Shockingly awful. But then, some of them are deeply wounded, afraid, traumatized individuals walking around with extreme depression and/or anxiety.

I wonder how many of them are real? Every time someone makes a fake trauma shock-video, they deminish the severity of real live things.

Yesterday, I watched a #Stitch of a man on a subway punching a woman in the face. He got onto a crowded subway with his kids, screaming and yelling at them. The woman asked him to calm down. He punched her in the face. She just stood there. People video taped it, but said nothing. There were a dozen big guys just standing there and they did nothing. Why didn’t the world share that all over the place, calling that guy a ‘ken’?

If she had hit him, they would have screamed at her, called her a karen, and ruined her life.

Women are losing their shit because the world has become insanely violent against women.

The world kicked their ass, then recorded it for all the world to humiliate.

Where is the grace? Where is the compassion? Where are the helpers? Where are the private citizens who know how to deescalate the incident?

Afraid of being recorded or sued for reaching out or helping. That’s where.

In my pretend world where everything is a lovely rainbow filled pink bubble cloud of joy and peace, people help people.

In the online world, we are buying into the illusion of delusion by recording the worst moments in humanity, then, posting it for the profits, plus those 15 minutes of fame.

In the real world, the days are pretty uneventful. Trust me, when boring becomes the end goal, you will have achieved a dangerously high level of life satisfaction.

The first time I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown after a violent traumatic event, I was talking to my own therapist who said,

“You know, day to day life is a little boring. We’re not all waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

For years, I didn’t know that. I thought it was always one crisis away from a crisis. For a long time.

Nope.

She was right.

When you are in the wrong place, surrounded by the wrong people, living the same chaos or crisis over and over again, your #stitch is a story of a life time of trauma.

You can change the story.

You get to decide how the story is going to end. The chapters are yours to write.

Who do you want to be?

Where do you see your life if the obstacles were not in your way?

Why do you want peace over what you have now?

What three things can you do this weekend to achieve just one step toward that dream life?

When do you want the dream life to begin manifesting? Narrow that time frame down by half. Then, half that. Then, just start right now.

It’s up to us but society does throw massive road blocks in our way.

People ARE being just f*cking horrible to each other, but then, other people are being wonderfully lovely humans to each other.

It’s not one or the other. Both are happening. Happy and sad is a two sided street.

No quilt is made with a single stitch, and no life is using only one story that repeats day in and day out.

Add your voice to the healing of others ~ you could be saving a life. Or, allow the story of others to motivate you to see the world in a different voice to help you to improve your own life.

Both are a win win.

In peace and sharing,

(c) @happinessnoir @Inkhoneypub @K.ArenHenryMiller

Published by happinessnoir

Writer | Advocate | Free Range Female | Change Agent | Essayist

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