Women … let’s break down this thriving thing

Let’s talk about women who support other women and then, those other …. people.

We want to see women who are dressed up, show up, toned up and bossed up. The world will treat you in direct correlation to how thin/toned you are; how wealthy you are; how youthful you are. If you’re connected, you get a pass. If you have influence and a great “positive” online presence, you get a pass.

What about those who suffer from real problems in the real world?

  1. Women who were stabbed in the back by ambitious or greedy women.

2. Women who were devalued by men who were threatened by them.

3. Women who were disinterested in joining the “cult of the PTO/Soccer Mom” tribe.

4. Women who are out there crushing it in the working world with little to no interest in other people’s drama.

5. Women who are on a mission to make the world a safer place for other women, and children.

6. Women who are older, bigger, uglier (according to social standards) or less fiscally influential.

7. Women who live with mental health issues that don’t go away

8. Women who are raising children by themselves while being forced into doing battle with abusive/narcissistic/toxic ex’s

9. Aging women who’ve been kicked to the metaphorical curb by society

10. Women who are buxom beauties and bigger than the sample size society deems worthy.

Real life has real problems.

Now that the research has hit the world in the face, people have trained themselves to “fake smile” for the camera and the world at large.

When our industry tells people how to be happy, they have to be able to apply it to every population, not just the ones that make them look good.

We separate each other into categories so we can feel like we belong somewhere. Power in numbers.

What’s worse? We create invisible barriers for ourselves and for others. Barriers that keep us from breaking through the glass ceilings while we have a conditioned response to other females to break down glass houses of those we deem a threat.

Take the topic I started this whole blog with.

There’s a dude who cusses like a trucker (tenured professor) who openly makes fun of fat people (his term for bigger people) on his social media; is openly rude to people to which his peers calls him “controversial” and, openly sexually harasses his students, while he is backed by powerful influencers in his field, because he in turn, backs them.

Sounds a lot like a tv dramaty on the CW, but nope. It’s a real life person.

Tragically, I’ve known dozens of these jerks. He’s not the first, and after watching them get away with deplorable behavior for the past almost 40 years, I know he will by far, not be the last.

It’s bad enough that men look the other way or join in the exploits. Women also back him in his behavior.

Not only that, but when someone calls him out on the psychological damage he’s done to others, those same “friends w/other kinds of benefits’ will set out to diminish and devalue the accuser.

This is also not new.

We have more and more advocates of victim and survivor rights speaking up and speaking out on social media.

Just this past weekend, I found another dozen therapists (licensed, credited, well educated helping professionals) ON Tik Tok and Instagram; YouTube and Reddit ~ sharing the red flags and diagnostic advice in hopes that the behavior will be called to a stop.

It won’t.

But it’s going to be forced to slow down.

It’ll take some time for the legal profession to catch up to the immorality of abuse at home as well as the abuse at work.


Sure, we’ll be thriving, but it won’t look like the “nice little well behaved lady with manners” that everyone is hoping for.

Naw …

It’s going to be the Wild Woman Sisterhood Amazonian warrior call of the survivors of abuse who will raise their voices to the winds of change.

The Woman Who Dances with Wolves.

The women In A Different Voice.

The Women who are Daring to Live Greatly ~

They will be the ones who call out for change.

The days of the ever so compliant smiling nice girls grown up … they’ll be a thing of the past.

Complacency has no place in the world where warrior queens are standing up for our eldurkin women and our future generations of growing girls in equal force.

The dark side of happiness is that there is a lot that goes on behind the flashy meme art we all seem to be spitting out with our Pan Am smiling faces.

This is the business of doing business of healing to put an end to the damage done to our collective generations.

I guess one could say that this is my Fight Song.

I’m willing to got that extra mile to contribute my verse to the mega

Every time I hear someone say, “She fights like a girl”, I smile. Genuinely so.

Yeah, girls are learning how to fight with each other, not against.

Sisterhood of the traveling pants … taking on the patriarchy.


Our new year is coming up fast. I’m excited to see what happens next.

(c) @happinessnoir @InkHoneyPub @K.ArenHenryMiller

Published by happinessnoir

Writer | Advocate | Free Range Female | Change Agent | Essayist

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