Are you in Alignment?

Are you in Alignment? What do you do for a living? Does it make you happy? Are you excited to go to work? Does your soul sing with enthusiasm as you head to work?

Do you have a volcano? A brain fog? A purpose? Do you like orange soda?

Source: Movie, Joe vs The Volcano

Are you also a parent? Do you worry about your kids the entire time you’re at work? Are you stressed out about your environment? Do you make enough money to pay your bills? Are you pets safe? Do you have the added layer of a commute?

Do you have enough time to sit back and relax? Can you leave work at work so you can think about life at home?

Questions. Questions. Questions.

Are you asking them? Updating your answers as you age? Are you sculpting and designing your life to meet your vision of your life?

The more you have ~ the easier it gets.

Not only monetary ‘more’ … though, let’s be honest, not everyone has the ability to live out their best life. That takes time, learning and understanding. If we struggle with money for a really long time, learning how to shift our mindset about money ~ also takes time.

But it’s more than money.

Are you loving what you do and how you do it?

When I was starting out, it was drilled into our heads by everybody … EVERYBODY … to believe that we had to find ONE career ~ ONE house ~ ONE mate ~ ONE plan … for the rest of our lives.

If we didn’t achieve all of those accomplishments ~ we were failures or somehow … broken.

Today?

I’m hearing more and more young professionals realizing their potential.

One ~ offered their exit story to a giant very popular tech company after four months. They knew in a short time that it wasn’t a good fit. Another? She became a wildly successful lawyer making a LOT of money, but before her 26th birthday, knew her work was owning her. Today, she’s a multi-million dollar YOuTube star with her own consulting firm.

When I was 22, I quit my posh advertising agency after only 11 months of hating where I lived, who I lived with and the mean girl, Margot who made my life a living hell. Every company I’ve ever worked for had a Margot.

That office bully we were told to just put up with, but one that wrecked havoc? We all have a ‘Margot’ story.

I felt guilty about leaving the city, for two decades! It didn’t help that my father mocked and shamed me for “blowing it” every day of his life. The last thing that man said to me was an insult. A 38 year old thing that wasn’t a mistake but he held onto as a mistake. His favorite weapon was verbal abuse.

Today?

Young women don’t think twice about speaking up for themselves.

More and more female professionals are talking about their life experiences.

People are being themselves, for themselves and cultivating a life that serves their soul.

You have no idea how much I love that for all of you, if you can do that. I never did and paid dearly for it.

After a life time of trying to make myself ‘fine’ with a life that never felt right for myself, or settling for allowing others to treat me poorly in trade for … safety[?] ~ I lost too much time to an environment that hurt my soul.

BUT, if I ever talked about that, I was also shut down, and told to get over it.

To ‘man up’ and just be grateful for the basic human needs.

Nobody should have to live like that.

I learned a lot of hard life lessons in those years.

It makes me sad that people justify hard human experiences as ‘meaningful’. It makes me wonder if they ever had those experiences.

My interpretation of that is ~ we can’t get back what was lost AND/OR there is no choice but to get better or get bitter.

Too many of us (particularly women) are told to settle and like it.

Younger women are saying, ‘fuck no’ and I love that for them.

I can’t shout this to the roof tops loud enough ~

Live in the moments that make you feel amazing!

I had a therapist once who told me, “Karen, life is supposed to be boring”

No, the fuck it is not!

Now that I’m on the back side of 50, I know the truth. Life is NOT supposed to be boring and nobody, not even your therapist, has the right to tell you to settle for boring!

Boring for her was her goal? I was meant to live louder than that. I was meant to go in search of the volcano, but settled for much, much less. Then, never thrived because I settled. If boring is a goal, great! That’s amazing if that makes you happy. Today, it makes me happier than chaos, but it’s not meant for everyone.

Go out there! Realize your worth, then know that you deserve your own piece of the life pie.

Do no harm. An issue that entirely too many people are skipping over these days.

But, take no shit.

If a job ~ a place ~ a company ~ a group of people ~ a partner ~ a friend ~ a friend group ~ or a career …

… feels more like it’s hard or stressful ~ than happy or feeling good ~

Do you bail right away?

Give it a couple of chances to correct itself?

Suffer through it?

Each human being brings something unique to the planet.

We are a bundle. The genetics are part but so are the answers to all the questions I asked. Over the course of our life time, we pivot and switch many, many times.

Hey, some people DO live in the formula. Raised in security and love. Marry early. Have babies. Get a dog. Have a baby or two or four. Live happily-ever-after with a few bumps.

Others?

Survive refugee camps or impossibly hard to speak of crimes against humanity.

Everyone has a right to love and be loved.

The same goes for our careers.

If you’re happier planting flowers, but spend your life in a windowless office, you are earning money, but at what expense?

We need money. Money buys the life we want to live. Do we need to be millionaires or billionaires to be happy?

Nope.

Are we paying in to the social media illusion that we all deserve to be millionaires?

Yes.

Life is a balance. The challenges are there for growth. The good feelings are there for rewards.

One thing I think many people forget is, when we decide to make a big change, nobody else has to or needs to know about that change.

We don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Alignment is a full time mental job.

Transitions are necessary and sometimes painful.

The key to living this life of ours well, is to embrace the pain as if it is what it actually is. They are a part of the journey. When I quote Oscar Wilde in saying, “Be You. The World Will Adjust.” ~ we all know that Oscar’s life was forever a struggle between being himself and the world pushing back against his right to live his life his way.

The truth of the adjustment? Clearly, and maybe not everyone knows this, the world pushes back.

Hard.

If you listen to the language used today in how to live our best lives, it’s all war related.

Put up boundaries.

Stand your ground.

Be fierce.

Push back.

To be in alignment with the life that makes us truly, authentically, genuinely happy ~ some of us are very happy to be alone ~ without any reservations.

If you can be alone and still be fully whole, you are living a very best life. No matter where you are on your time line and no matter how much you have or don’t have.

Have you ever seen the movie, Joe vs. The Volcano?

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

The movie is corny and campy. It’s also powerful. I was thinking about the brain fog.

Serendipitously, many people with long haul residual effects of covid have brain fog. In the movie, Joe is told he is dying from a brain fog. Is this true a little bit in real life?

The WHOLE movie is all about the characters being in alignment with what they dream of becoming, and NOT what everyone else tells them they have to choose. I really hope you’ll find and watch the movie, but the people on the island? They like orange soda and, they hired Joe to come jump in their volcano … the rest is too good to give away spoilers (even if it did come out in 1990).

I love orange soda, but it gives me heart burn, so I choose not to drink it. I know how to avoid pain, not suffer through it.

My wish for everyone is that they can find that for themselves. A love of learning. A realization of one’s limitations. A thriving growth post trauma.

A love of what you discover along the way.

Self included.

It’s all about pursuing your passion, but it’s also about making sure that nobody else is invited to an opinion unless you invite them to an opinion.

Be the leading lady in your own life. Or, leading person. Leading man. However you identify. Leading furry? How you identify is not my business. It’s nobody’s business.

KH

@happinessnoir @inkhoneypub

henryhealing.com

p.s … I haven’t conquered the WordPress mastery quite yet, but I am about to publish a work of fiction over on Amazon Vella ~ a series. That and I’m painting today. Arts and entertainment bring me joy. I’m chasing the joy this year. Would appreciate it if you read it ~ it’s all a learning curve.

If the last two years haven’t taught us anything else, I hope it taught us to chase our joy and live in the moment with meaning.


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