Listen to the vibes before deciding where you place your attention.
I got so sick of the karen thing … once again, the world using some part of a female’s identity to rip her apart and tear her down. Once again, and this is so old and tired ~ the world placing all of it’s woes and blame on the females of the species.
We females are so inundated with Stockholm Syndrome, that we just go along with it!
Women tribes and teams sound like a lovely idea, but in truth, they can also be forking nightmares for the other women who aren’t part of the “in-crowd”.
Social Media stepped up the junior high bullying nightmare to the Nth power!
Do we HAVE to have social media?
The Regina George’s of the world would say yes. The Tina Fey’s of the world would say, it depends on how you use it. I love that Ana Psychology did a whole assessment of Ms. George’s character. 🙂
On TikTok, people get more traffic with novelty or drama ~ one guy has risen to 4 million followers just for calling out bad behavior and asking the public to rally to catch bad people. Someone else showed a clip of him doing this exact thing to a 12 year old kid who was harassing a 10 year old kid. His energy means well? He says. His audience are vigilantes who can’t wait to fight somewhere.
*insert furrowed brows here*
On Instagram, people get more traffic with skin or drama *any and everything to do with the women in their 50’s proving their continued value by showing off their naked or nearly naked bodies in endless pics a day*
When we write our blogs, we need teams, tribes, extraversion or create scandalous this and that to gain attention in this too crowded world.
I’ve seen is a young woman who speaks in a low, quiet, gentle voice while walking around her cottage … doing …. nothing but touching things. It’s both innocent and provocative. She has a following of 900K people. People love her. Her energy is gentle and kind. Her simple life and quiet tone is comforting and calm. She is a gentle soul to be sure.
Another young woman, same age, pulls clips of “Karens” and Bridezillas, etc. from Reddit and other assorted new age gossip pages to make fun of them. She has a following of almost 900K. Her energy is obnoxious and cruel and yet, Laurel and Hardy come to mind ~ she uses slap stick and sarcasm? More of a Joan Rivers vibe. To each her own. She can be funny at times. Not sure she actually means malice … a girl’s just trying to make a living in the city.
Then, there is a whole industry of people who don’t create their own music, books, or images ~ but brag about making 7-figure salaries by taking “free” music, images and books ~ then twisting them into their own “curated” work.
Same with memes ~ no original artists are given credit.
Same with the book pirates ~ no original authors are given credit.
Same with the reporters of academic research ~ a lot of quotes and misquotes ~ no original ideas, and often, many repeated ideas.
I did a deep dive into “top 10” lists about travel once.
It turned out that the top 10 “BEST places” lists are heavily copy cats and repeats … some of them didn’t even bother to change the order of the words. They literally just copy/pasted everything onto a different digital platform.
Is the world toxic in real life, or … are simply trying to gain clicks, likes and subscribes?
Know what my highest viewed day was here ~ remember, I only started this back in August … but haven’t done a lot to change it since then. I wanted to see what would happen organically. I’m almost done.
The MOST viewed page was when I purposely went on a rant about a professor who sexually harassed his students. He’s called the ‘bad boy’ of our field, but in truth, he makes fun of heavy people on his facebook page, looks like he takes steroids, and though he’s a prolific author, he also has no remorse over both stealing people’s ideas AND ~ being sexually inappropriate with his students ~ at their expense.
I think I called him a shit head or something.
On TikTok ~ that would be a very mild thing to say ~ but the academic community protects its own.
Women aren’t allowed to speak out ~ unless it’s a hot politically correct super rant ~ and she has both a lot of friends with a lot of power or money. Mel Robbins has more followers than any licensed psychologist I’ve run across ~ she’s a motivational speaker with a law degree, but gives life advice. Maybe, Brene Brown has more followers, but that’s because of Oprah. Oprah is the star maker.
I used to be shocked by bad behavior in academia. Then I found The Professor is In and The Professor is Out, respectfully. There, thousands of stories of people sharing the awful experiences of the field. I suppose that it’s normal and typical even in the fields with the highest educated people we have.
I LOVED working in higher education but I held on for far too long ~ in part because I knew that malignant flying monkeys of the narcs who pretended to love me ~ maliciously roadblocked my career and I didn’t have the strength to fight back.
Misogyny seems to be on the rise.
Domestic Violence is on the rise.
Overt bullying and violence are on the rise.
Men trying to control women through extreme actions in politics ~ on the rise.
And the forking women who follow along are just as bad.
I’m SO glad there is a new woman President of the ACA ~ a new woman Justice on the Supreme Court and a new woman Vice President of the USA.
Maybe, just maybe ~ there is hope for the reframing of how women are treated and treat themselves in our society.
When we see people heading into their fairy cottages to live out a life in peace, this is why.
If you ever wonder why people are walking away from social media and society at large ~ this is why.
For the rural areas and small towns who don’t use social media, ’cause they have their own live action Gilmore Girls vibe going on ~ they don’t fully understand why or how anyone would be online, but you betcha, if a celebrity of any stature came to their town, they would flip over it. (Win a Date with Tad Hamilton) style.
We have to decide where we want our energy to go.
Into the woods (not the musical, I cringe at Sonheim, which is going to make someone hate me ’cause I don’t like staccato, off beat music on purpose chaos).
What do we do with our time and attention if these toxic, negative, drama-filled real life soap operas are where humans are giving their attention?
It’s up to you of course.
If you’re into the drama for whatever your reason ~ that’s what you choose.
If you don’t mind your friends or colleagues abusing people ~ that’s up to you.
If you are craving the art of not giving a fuck, or being judgmental toward people for saying cuss words, while also being highly sensitive to anyone saying anything about your perfect life ~ that’s where your feet are.
I’ve often thought of just turning all of it into a saucy romance novel tell-all the way Jenn Mann made a very successful, and funny life out of her blog, “People I Want To Punch In the Face” ~ still, my favorite blog mom who took an honest look at what life was like for an educated city gal, moving to a small town in the midwest. She’s hilarious. I guess I like peaceful cottage fairy life and sarcasm in equal measures.
We change as we age ~ what we took seriously 20 years ago, we laugh at now. What we laughed at 30 years ago, we take seriously now.
North vs South is still very alive and still very much the same at its core.
From Virtual Main Street to Literal Main Street ~ the world is the same and yet, so very very different.
For 40 years, I’ve been forced to tolerate gross, disgusting and horrendous “boys club” behaviors ~ that will never change. Not as long as people allow it. Or, make excuses for it.
But we can disconnect from the internet.
We can leave the social media places entirely.
It would be like a fresh new hair cut.
It’s all a matter of where you want your energy to go.
For people who are survivors of trauma and domestic violence ~ the internet is the worst place to be right now.
For people who have no idea what bullying, domestic violence or trauma is ~ they are immune to the slings and arrows of misfortune or purposeful shifts in consciousness ~ its always ~ entirely ~ up to us.
I want a calm beach, great internet access and a word processor so I can write, beach, walk, write beach walk and repeat + cats and dogs. That’s it. No drama. No trauma. No need to get involved. No words for the wicked. No sass or sauce. Just peace. Always, just peace.
We can’t choose how other people are, or what they act like.
We can choose to cultivate and curate our own lives to fit our own energy.
We can choose who we have around us ~ heal and you’ll see.
Honestly? I choose the vibe of the Cottage Fairy ~ I want that energy in my life ~ y’all can have the rest.
I know this was pretty long ~ I’m gearing up to shifting focus … thinking about a lot.
This digital nomad life ~ showed me things I didn’t think I needed but it also showed me the things I know I do not want.
p.s… I already know that 99.9% of readers won’t have gotten this far ’cause this was too long. So for all that have ~ hit the wave button ~ or don’t ~ that’s me waving at you saying, ‘thanks for reading’.
One day, I’ll pay more attention to this page and turn it into a monetizing adventure like y’all do ~ it’s a need rather than a want sometimes.