Days of Change:

I’ve kvetched about the dark side of TikTok ~ now I’m going to share the good side, the light side. The proactive things that happen there ~ are just as moving.

Photo by Jben Beach Art on Pexels.com

Like everything else in life ~ there is a balance ~ a yin and yang ~ a dark and light side of the moon.

In this pink full super moon, loads of people are sharing messages which all boil down to this.

The energy you pay attention to is the energy you live in.

That’s a sweet idea, but for people with PTSD, Trauma healing and those with high anxiety or depression, poverty, extreme environmental stressors, and other assorted very real human conditions, it’s not always the answer.

Over the past few months on TikTok ~ I don’t try to promote it and have to follow the “FYP” so I can learn more about the algorithms … which teach us a lot about what our digital life thinks we want.

~ I was able to follow updates on what’s going on (for real) in Ukraine

~ Creeps and turd buckets are called out ~ in live time (which is sort of also awesome, but also libel?). *a favorite phrase used by a character I’m developing in my Kindle Vella, The Dreamer Chronicles by KH Miller. ‘Turd bucket’ seems fitting to Claire’s character. 🙂

But I digress … back to TikTok.

~ There are thousands (millions) of professional doctors, psychologists, licensed therapists and social workers who offer tips, observations and information from the field that can, and does really help people. #MedTok #NurseTok #DoctorTok #TherapyTok etc.

~ Cats and dogs make the best internet. #CatsofTikTok is one I follow.

~ #BookTok is fun and funny ~ authors always live up to their creative side.

~ There are a LOT of historians and scientists on the Tok ~ they deliver some really fascinating nuggets of info. ~ including some very famous celebrity smart folks. Following them has been the upside.

We just have to weed through the stuff we don’t want.

Unfollowing ~ followed by following, then scrolling rather than commenting ~ it has some strategy attached.

The fact that I’m even writing about this is about the nerdiest #OldTok thing possible.

If I don’t like or get creeped out by anyone ~ I unfollow, or block. A nameless, faceless account gets blocked a lot. There are STILL psycho-flying monkeys who stalk people they’ve hurt … they enjoy it. In psychology, we have DSM diagnoses for them.

Apparently, those who build up millions (billions) of followers also don’t try to get rid of the ick factor ~ they just …. ignore it. I don’t see how, unless they have a middle digital manager to help them NOT see the toxic comments.

Others LOVE to have comments so they can comment on the commenters.

The same goes for Instagram.

Only there? People are more images than nuggets of their opinions. Dr. Nicole LePera is really good at delivering content, building an audience, and not giving oxygen to the haters. She calls herself the Holistic Psychologist, and has GREAT wisdom.

Which is totally different from Twitter which is apparently in a free for all ~ Twitter is where people used to go to cyber bully. Today? I don’t know much about it ~ I don’t place my energy in anything that feels synthetic and toxic. Not a fan. Could care less if Elon buys it. That’s a whole other topic.

Or, as the young ones say, “Facebook is dead … don’t go there” which makes me laugh pretty hard considering I spent my teen years with a corded phone stuck to the wall. Facebook is still a teenager, but once parents and grandparents started using it ~ it ruined everything.

I did listen to a Digital Content reporter on TikTok show up with evidence that Facebook was creating false or misleading information about TikTok ~ it’s all so silly but to the tune of creating American Oligarchs of our own, so maybe … not so silly. Yes, I read credible news sources too … This piece from the New Yorker is a solid read.

🙂

All in all, for all that I could easily delete all social media in trade for finding the unicorn offices/practice ~ social media is part of our lives.

We have to have it to work in our world.

Until we find a way to hire someone else to manage that part of our lives. Not all of us like it.

Happiness Noir, ‘Days of Change’ is all about finding clarity and self love.

I’m writing this into my business plan, which BTW, is in total overhaul right now. That’s why Henry Healing is shut down ~ until I can figure out how to Mel Robbins the shit out of it.

OR … as Mel Robbins said, “Nobody’s coming … we have to do it all ourselves” ~ truer words have never been spoken.

We own all of it.

Mel Robbins ~ I like her pep talks. They share the energy my dark brain matter needs.

Finding the balance between the dark side and light side of every thing is how we find our whole life.

I’ve had some awful, terrible, nightmare level things happen in my life.

I’ve had to bounce back ~ alone.

I speak from experience, not just books, when I say any of this.

If you see me on Tok Tok @Ink1925 ~ I’m going to stay focused on my cats but know this.

I’ve had death threats … I’ve had abusers. I’ve had malignant narcissists try to ruin my life, my career, my sense of well being.

I’ve survived awful gossips and terrible people who gladly worked toward their title as flying monkeys.

I’ve also witnessed miracles, experienced extraordinary adventures and lived in longitudinal grief in equal measures.

I know for sure that “No-one is coming” and that I have to do it all myself. I’ve lived that shit. And, I’ve had big name people in psychology get bent out of shape, telling me what I’m “allowed” to say or not say about our field.

Yeah … as soon as people are trying to control your POV and your voice … tell them to feck off. It’s now part of the work you do as an advocate and healer of women’s trauma. As if women haven’t been putting up with that misogyny long enough.

Apparently ~ while in the antiquated, and ever so polite (toward men) world of psychology … as demanded by said fellas ~ on TikTok ~ women are talking ~ a LOT ~ about domestic violence, misogyny, abuse and offenses against women. If you want to find a tribe of like minded conversations … go there.

My writing here is my safe space. It’s not all flowers and happy cats. Life is not all rainbows and sunshine. Those are the reward part of living life in post traumatic growth.

There is a difference.

So today ~ Monday ~ if you’ve experienced a hard time ~ please know that you are not alone.

Neither am I.

We simply have to adjust the sails according to the wind ~ Now I’m off to publish a 3rd Monday of the month blog on The Positive Psychology People ~ today is a pub[lishing] crawl across social media ~ while firing up the digital nomad gig work.

for now ~ I’m taking advice and listening … to Mel Robbins. She’s been there, so I respect her wisdom.

MelRobbins.com

This ~ is a solid list Mel … my only argument is with “think positively” when in truth, it is sometimes, rage and anger that fuels the fires of change. But … you CAN be positively enraged so … I guess there’s that. hm? I think I’ll go write about that on Medium’s False Positives.

KH

@happinessnoir

henryhealing.com

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