Days of Change: Healing is a Journey

Healing is a Journey, and a destination. Some days are a leap on the beach in a flowing white dress but some days it’s walking barefoot over a fire pit filled with Legos … you are going to experience both.

Meme’ing on Canva 🙂

Not everyone is going to get that. Some people are going to believe the garbage they “heard” about you. Others are going to disappear. Others still … they’ll hang in there, knowing that you’re going through something.

Cliche time ~ if a flower fails to thrive, you change the environment, not the flower.

If you want to change your life, you have to break out of the patterns that held you in place. If you want to write a book, you all know this ~ you have to sit down and do it.

It may be total shite at first, but it may be the best book ever written.

If you’re a creative ~ you’ll get this. When you are writing or painting, crafting or making ~ you are in flow with your work. Your project is an extension of you, flowing through your veins. But when you’re editing, you are one step removed from that work. It’s more of a chore. It’s more analytical than creative. You are somehow, now detached from it. It’s a subtle difference, but it’s there.

Now, if you are an editor by trade, the opposite is true ~ you see the editing itself as your art form. That’s where your flow lives. You were given a puzzle to solve, or a map to clarify.

Aligning with the work you do is where the magic happens. That is where you are the best version of yourself. There are professional writers and professional editors. The strength is in knowing yourself.

Finding that sweet spot is something else entirely. Especially if you have been told you can’t.

Not everyone out there is going to want you to succeed. There are people in our lives who want us to fail.

IF YOU are a survivor of domestic violence, or narcissist abuse, or any other sort of malicious gossip … they will NOT change. YOU have to.

This one’s even harder. You have to break old patterns that broke you. Not everyone is a survivor of a traumatic event. Some people are survivors of a mundane life that didn’t set their soul on fire. Others are survivors of a belief system (in themselves or more of a classical god sort of way).

There are 4,000+ active religions on this planet, and I am not a doctor of theology, so I will never refer to religion. I’m talking about your internal belief system.

If you want to become the best version of yourself, you’re going to lose some people. It may even make you feel sick or afraid to push yourself forward.

See, YOU want to reclaim your life ~ that doesn’t mean the society or culture you live in wants you to change. They don’t.

You are a player on the world’s stage (Shakespeare reference there) ~ they want you to remain the same, even if that means they’re going to be awful or judgmental, or critical of you. They NEED you to stay the same so they can go on thinking what they think about you.

When you change ~ think about people who are perhaps very overweight, or very poor, or very stuck in a dead end job. Think about people who have to take care of everyone else or are living with an abusive partner, or work three jobs for low wages but feel so defeated, they don’t have time to dream about something better. Think about people who are leaders or bosses, but WISH they were anywhere else. What about those who are in the service of others?

The people you serve, the people who rely on you to make their coffee, and the people who need to have a house elf around … do NOT want to give you a sock Dobby. They like having someone around that they can treat as a lesser creature.

That doesn’t mean you want that for yourself.

Give yourself the sock and break those patterns of servitude.

Every family has that one person they can treat badly ~ it may not be as overt as kicking them while they are down. It may be much more subtle than that.

You might be the one in the group that everyone else feels entitled to yell at, or make fun of, or even to point the finger at. You may be the one who gets blamed for ALL THE THINGS when something goes wrong.

How do you know if you’re the one.

Insist on being treated well, even if that means you lose that person.

Insist that they stop belittling or devaluing you, even if that means they get mad. Especially if they get mad.

Record yourself in a conversation. Listen to it when you are alone.

Are you negative ~ negative self talk ~ think about what you were thinking when you responded the way you did.

Do you like what you heard?

What do you dream about?

Are you living in the life you dream about?

We see people making big sweeping PHYSICAL changes all the time. The multi-billion dollar diet and exercise industry depends on our insecurities so pushes us to be the skinniest, fittest, most elite athlete version of ourselves.

They hard-core-bank on OUR insecurities.

Society and culture are as much to blame for people hurting themselves as punishment for not being “enough” as our thoughts are. Maybe even more.

We don’t leave people alone unless they have one thing that society and culture won’t touch.

100% confidence in ourselves just as we are.

(I know I could have put that in a book or online course, or click bait filled YouTube platform, but seriously … we are drowning in those and it all boils down to that one sentence anyway).

Society and Culture do not fork with someone who will look it straight in the eye with a “what?” ~dare ya to challenge me ~ vibe.

Try this for a whole day.

ALL day long …. and you have to stay in character (remember, the world is your stage) …

Write as if you are the wisest in the world.

Speak as if you have Elon money and no fear.

Walk, head held high, tits up, as if they are expecting you and you are gracing them with your presence.

Offer a smile, as if there are paparazzi everywhere and they are excited to see you.

Speak from a place that you know is spot on. If you fumble, then laugh it off. You fumbled but think of it as charming, instead of embarrassing.

Laugh at your own vulnerabilities or mistakes.

Finally, if you are intimidated by someone, or those insults hurt … stay quiet. Don’t say anything. Nothing at all. Hold it in. Maybe nod your head a bit, but don’t say anything.

Later, by yourself, give yourself permission to feel all the feels.

Our human emotions regulate by a physical response. Crying is good for you. Sweating, shaking, laughing, bursts of adrenaline, and deep breathing all help the human body to regulate. We are a system run by a computer.

Hit the reset button as many times as you need to. But, if you want change, you have to ACT on that change.

Elyse Myers

Elyse Myers (social media famous normal person) has a GREAT saying when someone says something she doesn’t like.

https://www.instagram.com/elyse_myers/

“I’m not going to receive that” ~ or ~ “I get to receive that”

She rejects anyone and anything that doesn’t feel good for her life ~ while also deciding that she deserves love, she deserves kindness, she deserves respect, she deserves to be loved and liked.

This is how people become the wildly successful seemingly happier people.

Everyone has flaws but we’re all pointing out everyone else’s flaws. As if we don’t have any.

Everyone farts.

Everyone has thrown up at least once in their lives, and when they did, snot came out of their nose.

Every human on the planet has a flaw ~ or ten.

What we do when we are overly confident in ourselves or vastly overconfident in insulting others is we point out their flaws as if we are flawless.

I get that this was a long post and future chapter in my next book … but April for me, has been a month of Mondays …. so staying focused on all the good things while living through so many bad things has been a serious challenge.

I hope YOUR May is 1000% all good things.

KH

@happinessnoir

Mentionables:

Elyse Myers has a website of the same name, Merck and of course, social media

Dobby from Harry Potter is still my favorite character

Canva is an awesome way to create memes or whatever digital stuff you need.

Kindle Vella is the current publishing platform for any writing I’m doing. I’m branching out eventually.

HenryHealing.com is the House that holds it all in one place.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s