15 days …. until the launch of something new. In the mean time … here’s one for the fellas.

We watched Downton Abby’s new movie last night. Hugh Bonneville who plays Lord Grantham is 58 years old. When we see people our our age, and they look so very different from the rest of the world, we sit back a bit. I love his response on Twitter … he sees his minor weight loss for what it is.

The world has gone mad.

Hugh Bonneville jokes that he’s had seven imaginary cosmetic procedures after mystifying The One Show viewers with ‘weird’ airbrushed face

Damn … time is fleeting. Time needs to be made into something … every moment of it.

The thing is, we also noticed something different about him. He was very tan in the new movie, and of course, older. They all were. That was intended. I won’t give any of it away, but I will say, he did lose a bit of weight. IMO, that’s a health choice, not a vanity one.

My younger self was always obsessed with it while also criticized for it. All the time. Lose weight to be liked, gain it to … well, our weight is our own, and nobody’s business. The world just thinks it’s their business.

I do know one thing … if you ever want to be truly invisible to the world, gain some weight. The bigger you are, the less people see you. The same goes for allowing yourself to age gracefully. If you look your age and you’re 58, then they will look away. Now, if you look like Elizabeth Hurley (also 57 -ish) … in her buxom bikini clad super sexy Instagrams … nobody will think a thing of it.

But Hugh … I looked him up on Google.

The headlines read, “Miraculous weight loss!!!” and, “Amazing transformation!!!”

Then there was, “Is Hugh Bonneville ill?”

The worst was, “Many people in their 50’s have an illness that inspires THAT MUCH weight loss, but not Hugh Bonneville …”

I have to wonder who writes these articles or comes up with the titles. Can we be any more ageist or sizeist? Do only teenagers write our news today? People who can’t conceive of being a whopping … 16 pounds overweight?

16 pounds

Yeah, you saw that correctly.

It’s reported that the man lost 16 pounds while getting healthier.

Girl … y’all can lose 16 pounds on a weekend cleanse.

If he was a female, they would criticize her for ONLY losing 16 pounds.

Also … it’s 16 pounds … not 60, but 16.

That’s not enough to dramatically change anything other than, “I feel a bit better now”. Is smaller healthier? To many it is. It feels better to be lighter. But for anyone to call it a miracle?


There’s a lot to unpack there.

I loved being in the solitude of my own thoughts on my mountaintop, but honestly people … what happened to world for the past two years while I wasn’t paying attention?

Go back and look at all the headlines from when Adele or Rebel Wilson lost weight. No matter how much they lost, people were cruel. Apparently, they are also cruel to men for many of the same reasons.

When an elder human such as myself or Hugh lose weight … people are ageist … and cruel.

Here’s the thing … by the time you are 58 years old, you seriously don’t care what the world or anyone has to say about your life.

You get to be you.

You get to gain or lose weight, get plastic surgery, or live in a container house in the woods … if that’s what makes you happy.

You don’t get in other people’s business, unless you’re missing something.

You don’t judge them for losing 6 pounds, let alone 16, or 60, or 600.

It is what it is.

That’s not permissive or contrite. It’s a life philosophy that adheres to one’s freedom and autonomy.

My first attempt at rejoining the world turned out to be a disaster.

I loved my two years of peace, and quiet.

My youngest child is now off on his own adventures. Two out of the last 31 years as a parent … mostly a solo parent … have been hard. And, bitter sweet. But now, I have to figure out who I am again. Not as a parent, but as a person.

I grieved my dog and went through a metamorphosis of self … but that new self is ready to take on the world again, in my own terms, on my own newly minted boundary train.

The old me didn’t help me or serve me.

This new me is excited for this adventure time.

Every version of my opinions, knowledge and understanding of humanity across the lifespan is still screaming in my head about how frustrating it is that we are STILL obsessed with how other people look on the outside.


Every time I see an article that focuses so hard on the body parts of a talented human, I wonder why and how it is that we have become such a shallow place.

Jerod Leto is 50. People call him flawless and incandescent. I just watched a Variety interview with him and Amanda Seyfred. His face doesn’t move. He is a pretty man, but more than that, he’s a talented one. But, his face doesn’t move. Will the headlines criticize him for it? Nope. They’ll focus on his physical Beauty.

Hugh Bonneville, you are a brilliant actor who played the role flawlessly.

The rest of us are better for the arts ~

Perhaps … that’s one place I’ll explore on this journey of rediscovering humanity.

Let’s see what happens.

One thing we can all work on (can we?) is to stay out of the business of other people’s body autonomy.



Woman. In Search of Meaning. To be continued …

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