I need to censor myself a bit more … but it’s not what you think

So we were on vacation *business and leisure* ~ but needed to grab some sundries. Since it’s now rare to find a Sundry shop (bring them back) ~ we went into a Target.

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

Side question …. is the former designer for Target, Massimo (sp?) now called, ‘a new day’ … remember Laurie Laughlin’s husband who bribed a college to get their kid in … yeah, he was the main designer for them … did you know that? Anywho … that’s not the point. Someone DOES need to be held accountable for the frocks & prairie dress debacle BTW but that’s not the story here either.

To be fair … some of the ‘a new day’ stuff is super cute and affordable … no judgement there. And seriously, why THESE two people for the college bribe thing … have you MET any college across the USA? Don’t tell me that all that donor funding wasn’t or isn’t unethical. I worked in enough colleges to know better.

Sports …. ’nuff said. Also …

I owe a fortune to my college loans …. so yeah … it’s pretty offensive, but then, my kids (and I) grew up around trust fund babies. I’ve known for decades that wealth buys so much more than convenience. Plus … I worked in a college full of trust fund babies.

I once worked in a ‘boys’ club’ … where the director of the career center *my boss* had NO skills for running a career center but was a BIG trustee/donor … his job was created for him. + he was a massive jerk who I caught knoodling with a very pretty foreign exchange student one afternoon.

He harassed me in MY job until I finally quit.

That was a life time ago … Title IX? Where were they? WHO were they back in the late 90’s? They certainly weren’t around to help me. And, they don’t always help now. Again …. another topic for another day.

I think about Title IX a LOT.

Okay … now I’m WAY off topic.

The point I was going to make is … While in Target perusing the ‘a new day’ line to buy a new outfit … it was 100 degrees outside … I was NOT packed for blazing hell-heat …. so needed something made for the dire pits of hell … or coastal ‘merica in the south.

While there … and this is where I was going with my censorship …. clearly, I don’t censor much. BUT … there are limits even I know I cross.

A baby was laughing. Big, lovely belly laughs … I didn’t look up, but I couldn’t help but smile at the baby laughs …. so cute!

My train of thoughts about all this other stuff was derailed as I listened to the laughing baby.

Then, without fully looking up at the person standing with said baby, I said (to my own son), “That is so cute! Do you hear that baby?” followed in slow motion by seeing the adult standing with laughing baby … “is he yours? He is SO adorable.”

THEN I looked up.

The person standing next to the baby was maybe …. maybe ….. 14 years old.

😮

Yep.

I just asked a 13-14 year old if the chubbly-wobbly laughing buddha was her kid.

My son gasped. Audibly gasped, “Mom” (which means, mom, shut up).

I immediately said, “I’m sorry. He’s just so cute.” in tandem with the teenager staring at me through shock and amusement, with a “Yeah. He’s mine.”

It was such a dead pan delivery, I didn’t know in that flash of panic if she was serious or not.

I smiled at the baby. Pretty sure the baby was also shocked. My son just walked about 5 paces ahead of me.

Foot + mouth = …. yep. Social skills in need of … a lot.

Yet, another episode of my awkward lack of boundaries meets cringe worthy social ineptitude.

It was over in less than 30 seconds, but being the over-thinker that I am … here it is …. weeks later and I’m still thinking about it.

So besides ALL of that other stuff I was thinking about while strolling around in a Target … the ONE time I actually spoke to anyone …. well, … this is just one example of why I like to write, but don’t like to speak out loud in public.

In that moment I realized just how much I AM Michael Scott (the Office) …. and …

You can’t edit your face.

Or, what pours out of it while your brain is on holiday. I blamed the extensive heat.

🙂

SO … how’s YOUR summer going so far?

Having an over thinking brain doesn’t always mean you connect said brain to actual words. Some days … you hit all the right marks while other days …. you realize you will NEVER go back to a place, ever again, in case you meet that stranger in an awkward silence. Even if you aren’t entirely sure what she looked like.

It happens.

Okay … back to summer and adventure time.

KH

Awkwardly sharing in case anyone else needed validation that they are NOT the only socially awkward weirdo so sprouts embarrassing moments at large.

henryhealing.com

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