The Lighter Side of Decision Making

I don’t know about you but … I haven’t really been to any conferences in about five years. I don’t go places with people any more. I mean, there ARE people, but one of my favorite things to do in the past was to attend book conferences.

Ink, CCO (Chief Cat Officer @Inkhoneypub)

Meet new authors. Get books. Listen to lectures and panel discussions about writing. Absorb the atmosphere and of course, pick up a load of swag.

I’m not a ‘joiner’ so this is as close to socializing as I get. I don’t like to chit chat or fawn over people I admire. I have never fawned over someone famous but I do have gratitude for their craft.

Never make a decision when you’re half asleep, socially awkward and bored.

Have a gallon of coffee with a nice bank $ 1st.

So, I was the later. Half asleep, socially bored and always awkward. It just is what it is.

Part of the reason I was a poster child for being the mark of a series of abusive people is because no matter how hard I tried to put on the facade of ‘cool’, in my core being, I’m a giant nerd and geek.

I just never knew I was until very late in life.

Instead of finding my people and geeking out happily, I tried my best to be cook, aloof, and fully shit-together worthy.

It was the wrong room. The wrong life. The wrong town. The wrong people. The wrong environment. For many decades.

Today, I embrace my own thoughts, likes, dislikes and other assorted ‘she knows who she is’ to change the game.

That doesn’t mean the shadow and scars have left entirely.

Those of you who have experienced something awful, or something traumatic know … it never fully goes away.

So you do your best with what you have when you have it.

Over the weekend, I spontaneously booked a conference AS A VENDOR!

I could have been the wall flower. I could have gone in my invisibility cloak. I could have even NOT booked it and had a great September all by myself with my self, for myself.

Instead, I lived up to that stupid promise I made to myself to get out of my comfort zone from time to time.

Nothing says adventure time like being a VENDOR at a book conference in a place you’ve never been. It means … *she sighs here* …. I have to be social. My LEAST favorite party hat.

I’ve never been social.

I thought I was extroverted for fifty years. It took some deep psychoanalysis to realize that though I am an ambivert, I prefer the blissful isolation of being introverted. All of that extroverted business was a defense mechanism to help me survive.

But then, I have a business to run. Adventures for the lack lustre lazy are part of it. To be able to listen to 60 people talk about their creative process for a few days sounds like a lot of fun.

The other thing that I do … that doesn’t come naturally, but feels pretty good doing it? Planning ahead.

To a certain degree.

Every time I plan TOO far ahead, something comes up to stomp on my garden … so, I always have a Plan B just in case.

Everyone should have a Plan Be in their pocket ~ in the event you need a back up.

So, for the rest of July …. I’m going to be making plans to go on my walk-about tour of the creatively clever.

Have a goal

Tie it to a vision

Craft a way to make them work

Don’t forget to actually leave the house and get out there 🙂

Remember … To Thine Own Self Be True

😁

KH

@happinessnoir

Photo by Yan Krukov on Pexels.com
I will be painting again …. always near the sea or in the trees. It’s not a compromise, but a compliment to life.
Vella #2 Ashes to Aether
Vella #1 The Dreamer Chronicles KH Miller

I have a 3rd VELLA up right now … but only one chapter and in the Non-Fiction category ~ under Karen Henry ~ but I’ll share more about that next time.

I’m still in behind the scenes cleaning house mode ~ TBA

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